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t/j about penis size

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WhatsRight posted 7/22/2014 07:36 AM

The current thread about penis size has concerned me from a slightly different perspective.

What about circumcision?

All of my sons are adopted and none of them are circumcised, for varying reasons. One was old enough that he would've had to been put to sleep for the surgery, one was from a country where circumcision is not practiced, etc.

For both men and women what is your view about sexual intimacy when the man is not circumcised? Have I added possible challenges for my sons?

Any women here feel less attracted to or even uncomfortable with a man who is not circumcised?

Any men here ever had to deal with such a situation?

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 7:37 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]

MindMonkey posted 7/22/2014 07:59 AM

Before this takes off, just be aware that there are many men that are very triggery about this.

It's not something we can undo. So when I hear people say (and they do) they would much rather be with an uncut man, it can sting.

It doesn't bother me too bad though. I mean I haven't known anything different so why should it really bother me? But to hear that OM was not circumsized, it kinda does.

But, I really don't think you have added any "challanges".

I will say my FWW wanted our son circumsized for health reasons. She's a nurse and has had too many cases of "rotton meat" particularly with older men who don't take care of themselves (or can't).

lost_in_toronto posted 7/22/2014 08:07 AM

This is a pretty sensitive thing to talk about, I think.

I have been with circumcized and uncircumcized, and the reality is that a penis is a penis, especially when erect. There isn't that much of a difference, and they both work well and they are both (IMO) attractive, and whatever a man comes with is fine with me.

I do think that in many Western countries the trend towards circumcizing infants is on a down trend, based on my observations of my friends and family. I'd say at least half of the people that I know have not circumcized their sons. Not making a judgement either way - just saying that I think that as kids today become grown ups, there will just as many uncircumcized as circumsized men out there and it won't be a big deal. Whereas, within my peer group it is much less common to be uncircumsized and many women I know haven't even seen an uncircumsized penis in real life.

brokeninfl posted 7/22/2014 08:11 AM

I do think that in many Western countries the trend towards circumcizing infants is on a down trend, based on my observations of my friends and family. I'd say at least half of the people that I know have not circumcized their sons. Not making a judgement either way - just saying that I think that as kids today become grown ups, there will just as many uncircumcized as circumsized men out there and it won't be a big deal. Whereas, within my peer group it is much less common to be uncircumsized and many women I know haven't even seen an uncircumsized penis in real life.

^^^ This. My boys are circumcised. I let my XWH make the call. I was part of a mom's group (we were all due the same month) and I'd say it was 50/50 across the group.

BrokenButTrying posted 7/22/2014 08:31 AM

Here in the UK circumcision is only done for religious or health reasons, it is not very common at all.

I have experience of men with and without and I can firmly say it doesn't make a damned bit of difference.

gahurts posted 7/22/2014 08:42 AM

Not trying to slam you Just Right, but...

I'm sorry but are you in a relationship with a man or with his penis? This is as bad as guys who will only date women with big boobs or who have implants. I think as a society we focus too much on physical attributes and not enough on the person.

ETA: For 13 years whenever I asked xWW what she liked about me or why she loved me the only response I got was "I love your penis". If that's all I got going for me then that's pretty pathetic.

[This message edited by gahurts at 8:45 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]

heartbroken2012 posted 7/22/2014 09:00 AM

I dont think it matters when infidelity is concerned. My WH is from the UK is not circumsized, and the OW still had sex with him and wanted him to leave me.

WhatsRight posted 7/22/2014 09:08 AM


I'm sorry, I do not completely understand your comment or question. My husband happens to be circumcised. It wouldn't make absolutely any difference to me if he were uncircumcised. I was not speaking from my point of view, or from any place of judgment.

When we adopted our boys our first son was already a few months old. His pediatrician said that he would not want to anesthetize an infant for such an insignificant reason. He told me that it had become more of a 50-50 thing In recent years. My concern had been if he would be teased in the locker room. The pediatrician also when I ask him if it was a health concern said, "you're going to teach him how to brush his teeth, aren't you?"

I started asking around family and friends that I felt very close to. I found out that a good 75% of male friends and family members were uncircumcised. With all of my"Ignorant" questions answered regarding teasing, health, etc. My husband and I made the choice NOT to circumcise that we could see no reason to justify the procedure at that point.

I asked this question not because I have any issues about whether a man's penis is circumcised or not. I asked this question because in reading the current thread about "penis size" I realized that many men seem almost tormented about certain "qualities" of their penis. I was simply wondering if whether or not they had been circumcised was another thing Of concern either for them, or for their future, mentally shallow partners.

I apologize if this topic is inappropriate, or has caused anyone to feel uncomfortable. That was certainly not my intent.

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 9:10 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]

nekorb posted 7/22/2014 09:39 AM

WhatsRight - I imagine all the "hype" about circumcision/no circumcision and sexual performance is the equivalent of all the perky boob/flat belly stuff women have dealt with for years.

The Menz often say those things- the specifics of them - are not as important to them as we make them out to be in our minds.

If you find a genuine person with genuine feelings for you, they will love and accept you for who you are and everything about you/your physical self.

I think the doc was spot on regarding the hygiene issue. You teach them to care for their penis/foreskin just like you would teach them to care for any other part of their body. It's just part of taking care of yourself. It is not a big deal.

Menz - try to relax about the issue of your penis(s), in general, the same as you want us to relax about our less than perfect breasts and post baby bodies.

RhettButler posted 7/22/2014 10:04 AM

In my state circumcision is very prevalent, I think about 80% of boys here are circumcised. It's all I've ever known. I've never been with a man who wasn't circumcised so I can't say that I prefer one over the other.

All of my boys are circumcised, even though I fought with WH to not do it to our third son because I didn't want it done. After giving birth and having the doctor and WH push for it I said whatever.

katiescarlett posted 7/22/2014 10:09 AM

^ WH was signed in and I didn't realize it. The above post is from moi.

lieshurt posted 7/22/2014 10:33 AM

Have I added possible challenges for my sons?

I understand your concern WhatsRight. When I found out I was having a boy, I didn't know what I should do about circumcision. My exwh was. However, some of his brothers weren't. I basically did a survey to find out the pros/cons and decided from there. Also, my doctor used anesthetic. Had she not, I would not have had it done.

As far as the men I've been with, I've only encountered one man who wasn't. It really didn't make any difference to me.

sunflowergirl30 posted 7/22/2014 10:46 AM

My nephew was recently circumcised and soon after when changing him we noticed his penis would totally disappear. He may need surgery when he's 4 or 5. I personally would rather pass on the procedure. I dont have experience with different penises but if a man was or wasnt circumcised it wouldnt change how I felt about him. Penises look weird to me in general lol.

WhatsRight posted 7/22/2014 10:49 AM

I appreciate it. All of my boys have issues from their birth mothers addictions and drug abuse during pregnancy. When I read the thread about "penis size" the thought occurred to me I wonder if I have given them an added issue they will have to deal with? I wonder if this is an issue that is very sensitive to men? Will they feel embarrassed, too different, unappealing no matter how unjustified and ridiculous that would be?

Anyway, thanks for the responses. And again, no disrespect or inappropriatness intended by starting this thread.

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 10:51 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]

solus sto posted 7/22/2014 10:51 AM

Penises are good. Big or small. Circumcized or not. I mean--that's pretty much the extent of my opinion. They're good.

BitterlyCynical posted 7/22/2014 16:38 PM

Circumcision will have a vanishingly small impact on their lives. I'm circumcised myself, but am aware maintaining hygiene is very simple for the uncut. It isn't apparent during erection and I don't believe women for the most part find the penis (particularly when flaccid) to be an aesthetic masterpiece to begin with. Some partners may never notice, here in the u.s. a few may be somewhat offput, but it's not likely. Outside the u. s. some may be just as offput by a cut man.

There is a slight risk reduction in HPV and HIV transmission from cut phalluses, but probably not enough to justify doing it later in life, as it is a small benefit and now we have a vaccine against the cancerous forms of HPV, and HIV isn't too common here. And of course reducing transmissibility wouldn't directly benefit them anyways but rather their partners.

And if he's going to fixate on his penile adequacy, it'll happen either way.

So don't sweat it.
(Primary source: Loveline and Dr Drew Pinsky)

Weatherly posted 7/22/2014 17:20 PM

Penises are good. Big or small. Circumcized or not. I mean--that's pretty much the extent of my opinion. They're good.

Pretty much.

I've been married twice, half my husbands were circumcised, half weren't. And, I couldn't have cared less either way.
I wasn't less attracted to one or the other, I didn't prefer it either way.

Lionne posted 7/22/2014 17:53 PM

Slight t/j funny. My father's family is Jewish. Immigrants. My SAFWH is circumcised. There really wasn't much of a doubt that our boys would be, too.
So after I gave birth, Dad and his brother, my favorite uncle dashed into my room to see my precious boy. "Where is he!?" Uncle demanded. I said, "With the doctor, he is being circumcised."


End t/j

[This message edited by scaredyKat at 5:54 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]

justme1264 posted 7/22/2014 18:20 PM

eek... it is crazy how a part of our body can have so much power over our egos.

When I used to find myself wondering about the OM the thought about penis size creeped in. It didn't last though. Not just because I am confident in my own department, but because I know it has little, if not nothing, to do with her actions. I remember wanting to ask her details, not to set my own insecurities at ease, but to hurt her and find a way to disgust myself so I can stop hurting, let her go, and move on from all her bullshit betrayal and lies. I didn't though, but only purely because of the fact I loved her. And it was my preference to treat her with kindness and humility. It has always been my preference to love her and especially when she least deserves it.

When my wife and I were dating she always talked about wanting breast implants. She was small, but absolutely perfect. And I am not just saying this. In my eyes, she was just right. I realized something years later, and after she got her long awaited breast implants. The thing I realized is I loved and was attracted to her with or without breast implants. It didn't matter the size of her breasts, if anything, when she got her implants it brought to light the physical differences between her two breasts. These differences I literally NEVER realized were there before. What I am trying to get at is it didn't matter what her size was, what shape they were, if her nipples were uneven, etc. I was JUST as attracted to her, just a turned on by her body, as I was before the implants. Sure hear a lot people talk about preferences, but the truth is, mature, healthy, and secure people out there fall in love with the person, not their physical features. My wife could have lost both her breasts and both her legs and I still would have wanted to jump her bones every hour on the hour, because I loved her for her. Her body was just icing on the cake, if not a tiny sliver of icing. The meat of the cake was her personality, her sense of humor (cliche but VERY TRUE), her smile, her laugh, her wit, her charm, her brains, her silliness, and an endless list of details regarding what makes her up as a person. You see, loving the person, and getting to know them in a deeply intimate way, and accepting them for all their beauty and flaws, makes them far more attractive than any supermodel, rock star, porn star, or any other person you come in contact with. This is something my wife never has come to understand. She always had a low esteem and never "got" why I was so attracted to her.

I am sure healthy women, good women, feel the same way about penis size and shape. *shrugs* Women, the kind you want to be in a relationship with, don't give a flying fawk about penis size or shape, cut or uncut. They care about who it is attached to.

[This message edited by justme1264 at 6:32 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]

Ostrich80 posted 7/22/2014 18:29 PM

I've not been with an uncut man however my ws and I chose not to have our sons circumcised. Around the time they were born, there was a trend of not doing it and we felt it not necessary. Even though my ws was, he agreed that our sons would not be. I have friends who make comments negatively just for appearance reasons. Personally I don't think it would really matter to me.

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