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On line dating question

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iamsoblind42 posted 7/22/2014 17:13 PM

Started O.L.D. after my D. At first I went into it just wanting to have fun and I did. I had no desire for a relationship. Met a guy about 2.5 months ago in similar boat.

I continued to date after him but now I only want to date him and I do want a relationship but I am scared to tell him. He got really hurt in his last relationship and has been taking things VERY slow. I can appreciate that and can be patient if I know he is only dating me.

I don't want to scare him away by telling him the truth. Advice?

Sad in AZ posted 7/22/2014 18:02 PM

Honesty is the best policy. If your feelings have changed, let him know. If you lose him, it wasn't meant to be.

In dating, as in other aspects of life, it's best to live authentically. If you pattern your behavior to match what someone else wants (or what you suspect they want) you'll never find happiness.

EvenKeel posted 7/23/2014 09:15 AM

I can appreciate that and can be patient if I know he is only dating me.

I think you should tell him. Not in a heavy commitment sort of way because your D looks like it was only final three months ago so you need to give yourself time as well. But I see no harm in telling him that you really like him and would like to date each other exclusively (while taking it all really slow for both of you).

As PP stated, if that isn't what he wants to do it is better to know now.

better4me posted 7/23/2014 10:01 AM

The only way to do this dating stuff honestly and authentically is to be honest and authentic yourself. I think all you need to do is to tell him what you've told us:

I only want to date (you) and I do want a relationship but I am scared to tell (you). (I know you) got really hurt in (your) last relationship and (we have) been taking things VERY slow. I can appreciate that and can be patient if I know (you are) only dating me.

norabird posted 7/23/2014 10:06 AM

It's hard to make yourself vulnerable by admitting something he may not be able to handle, but you're strong and brave enough, and there is always a payoff in being honest even if it means he may need to back off. Hopefully he will be ready to be exclsive too even if you both take everything slow.

I'm glad you're doing well!!

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