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mdiane posted 7/22/2014 20:50 PM

My H had 9 month affair. He and Cow would meet up 15 min before their shift and had sex in car.. Apparently she was always on top of him, gave him oral or hand job.. My confusion comes from my H saying that although they had intercourse 5-6 times during 9 months he always stopped her and had her get off right before he would ejaculate. He stated that the very first time she told him to go ahead she was on birthcontrol and he told her no but he would continue if she wanted to orgasm and she told him she didn't want to orgasm either because she squirts when she orgasms. So after their first sexual encounter he stated they would always stop right before he would ejaculate and he further stated that because he was not that comfortable with her he felt embarrassed to masturbate into a napkin so he would just let his hard on go away... He claims he enjoyed the sex for the purpose of the sexual feeling and gratification but said he jus refused to ejaculate in her. He also denies any ejaculation when she would give him oral or hand jobs. He stated that she never gave him oral or hand jobs long enough to let him finish and he claims he isn't sure if he would have finished if he had the opportunity. He did admit that the one time they got a motel room, he placed a towel by the bed and he was on top and right before he was going to ejaculate he pulled out and walked away with towel and fastly masturbated in twel and ejaculated. He said he felt comfortable because it was dark and while he did this she was getting dressed... II'm so confused... For waywards, is this possible, normal or complete bullshit? He further stated that at motel they did not converse or anything it was sex and they left it was the one and only time they got room. He states that each and every time they met up in car it was little cconversation before the sex or sex acts started as they only had 15 min. The woman confirmed that he did not ejaculate in her that she is aware of but that he would grab a napkin and wipe himself while she dressed.. I'm curious to know if it is possible for a man to stop right before ejaculating and be okay. Any help or insight?????

tfkeel posted 7/22/2014 21:19 PM

I'm curious to know if it is possible for a man to stop right before ejaculating and be okay.

If, by "okay", you mean the man is not injured, then yes, he is "okay". He can "finish himself" off, or not.

If, by "okay", you mean it will prevent a pregnancy, then no, it will not necessarily.

A man secretes semen prior to the ejaculation. Motile, swimming sperms come out of his urethra prior to ejaculation, so "pulling out" is not a very reliable method of contraception.

While it is, of course, "possible", my own personal opinion is that it is 100% bullshit. In my opinion, it is also faulty thinking along the lines of "oral sex is not sex", and "but I never inhaled", that somehow the sin of adultery is lessened by not ejaculating into the woman.

Unmitigated crap.

cantgetup posted 7/22/2014 22:55 PM

Never heard of anything so ridiculous. But I will follow up and say that I have read things on SI that I have never thought humanly possible. Ever. But this sort of defies the sex only A, defies the EA, and defies most other A excuses to include validation, ego stroking and boredom. This is a tough one. I would keep digging if I was presented with this scenario.

Pass posted 7/22/2014 22:56 PM

He's trying to minimize. "Sure we fooled around, but I never came."

He wants you to believe he has some morals for not crossing that line. Even if it were true, it wouldn't make things better, but it's horseshit.

Ostrich80 posted 7/22/2014 23:29 PM

Maybe he told himself ss long as he didn't finish in her, it wast as bad. Or maybe he's telling you this for reasons in the previous 2 posts. As my dad says, he's pickin the chicken or splitting hairs, whatever it may be. Fact is, he gets no shiny stars for finishing in a towel, napkin, sock,.....

Lalagirl posted 7/23/2014 12:55 PM

My confusion comes from my H saying that although they had intercourse 5-6 times during 9 months he always stopped her and had her get off right before he would ejaculate. He stated that the very first time she told him to go ahead she was on birthcontrol

Not a reliable method of BC - at all. Ask my DD who had a surprise pregnancy while breastfeeding and using this method of "birth control."

Whether he did or didn't ejaculate...IMO, what difference does that make? Is it supposed to make it easier for you to accept he screwed around with someone...because it doesn't.

Good gravy; the lengths WSs go to to minimize.

KatieG posted 7/23/2014 13:06 PM

I would say yes its possible to stop. But why all the detail? It doesn't matter either way, its just detail about their sex together. They still exchanged body fluids and they still had an A and they still had sex.

Is he saying it makes any difference at all - because in my opinion it doesn't. Its deflection around the detail.

The thing that bothers me is you are questioning it as the truth, not the content or whether its ok. So whatever the situation he is describing you want the truth. OK its plausible. If you get off the subject of whether he did or not and focus on the betrayal and how you feel, you might get nearer the truth or what you feel is the truth.

ChangeMaker posted 7/23/2014 13:32 PM

This story is bullshit. When a man gets close, even if he pulls out, a couple of strokes is all it takes to get his end away, and the compulsion to do it is very strong.

Not that it matters, he still had sex with another woman.

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