"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

Not.the.Big.Easy posted 7/23/2014 16:21 PM

My wife is on her way back from her parents and I'm stuck here waiting. I hate that I don't actually know where she is or what she's doing. She said she stopped at LL Beans to try on bathing suits, but since it should take her 2 1/2 hours from home to where she is when I called, that means that LL Bean took 3 hours. With her it is possible, but the LL Bean isn't too far from where she went to the bar the other night!

And she knows what I'm feeling right now and that we need to talk when she gets home. I hate what this is doing to me.

Badhurt posted 7/23/2014 16:33 PM

Your statement just have you your answer. You had a phone discussion, and she knows you are not accepting her explanations. So instead of coming home to you, she stops somewhere right near her bar friend to "shop" for hours.

Please do not believe that. First, she has no respect for your feelings, and is enjoying your stress. If she was not up to no good , she would have gotten home as fast as she could.

You are not going to nice her back out of this. If I were you , I would take a stiff drink and lay down the riot act to her , including a phone call to her boyfriend telling him you know about their little relationship and there will be no more contact.

My guess is she will refuse that. When that happens you do not need to know any more in my opinion

steppingup posted 7/23/2014 16:37 PM

Look up "GASLIGHTING", she has you confused and likes it that way, she is in full control and your life is a toliet waiting for "princess" to flush it. Dude, this is BS. You know if you avolid the subject it will eat up until you have cancer, on the otherhand the truth you dont want to know will also eat you up like cancer, this woman is killing you before your very eyes, wake up sir.

Time to move on, before you are dead or have a stroke and she is feeding you oatmeal with a spoon while texting her new BF. STEP UP!

healingroad posted 7/23/2014 17:05 PM

Might want to check the LL bean receipt and look at the time printed there. Could be evidence....

Badhurt posted 7/23/2014 17:11 PM

Good idea from mhca. my guess is she will tell you she found nothing to buy so there is no receipt.

i would sternly ask her and look right into her eyes if she stopped to see her friend.

Not.the.Big.Easy posted 7/23/2014 17:31 PM

To all,

I already know the things I have to do. I've been at this place before. I was at the other online community before Mangledheart and Deeply Scared brought it to SI.com. I owe a lot to this community and the one that preceded it. When my XWGF betrayed me, I became the super sleuth. I learned to trust my gut and to analyse why my gut was saying what it was.

The only mistake I've made this time around was to brush off a red flag a month ago because I thought it was just a trigger from my ex. I am now just hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. My ex was an expert liar and manipulator, and yet without any help from that bitch, I (and that I should be like five times bigger for emphasis) put together the timeline of her affair.

I'm not going to go through the same thing I did before. I'm not the same person. Right now, the only thing she retains of control of this entire thing is the distance. Once that is gone she's in my arena. I died the last time. That just makes me harder to kill now.

healingroad posted 7/23/2014 17:31 PM

Might want to check the LL bean receipt and look at the time printed there. Could be evidence....

Dyokemm posted 7/23/2014 17:32 PM

If she claims she was shopping at LL Bean's for three hours, I would tell her instantly to get back in the car cause we are driving back there to ask the sales people if she was in the store that day for that length of time.

Badhurt posted 7/23/2014 17:42 PM

Glad you have a plan not to be a doormat.
My guess she will come and and want to jump in the shower claiming the trip made her "grungy".
Is follow her and take her panties to a lab. Another BH on JFO did exactly that and caught her that way.
I think you know what to do. Take her way out of her comfort zone

craig2001 posted 7/23/2014 17:56 PM

I was at the other online community before Mangledheart and Deeply Scared brought it to SI.com.

Wow, I probably talked to you way back then before it was moved to this site.

Hope she bought something and most certainly check the receipt. Those timestamps are not always correct, but usually they are.

If she didn't buy anything, then you will wonder if she was even there. Call her now and ask her to buy you something, anything. A cap or something, a pair of socks.

Not.the.Big.Easy posted 7/23/2014 18:12 PM

Craig,

We may have crossed paths. I wasn't on it much by 2001 though because my XGF started creeping the site. It's too late to have her buy anything now, she was about 2 hours away from LL Beans when I spoke to her. I don't doubt she'll buy something at Target (where she was). I know that she had to eat at some point early in that trip, so that will be something I can look to. I also plan to take a look at her cell phone.

atreides posted 7/24/2014 10:11 AM

I am so sorry, gosh... I guess this would be the second time round for you.

You already know via your past experience and so all I wanted to say is how inconsiderate your W is especially because she knows and has such little faith in you to actually start something with someone else.

So sorry.