For me, immediately after DDay,it was a little bit of both. One of my problems was/is depression. To oversimplify, I didn't much care about anything. This included M and work. So when my world got turned upside down, a lot of that attitude was still there.
In addition to that, however, fixing me, helping BW and my M is my highest priority. I feel like I cannot start my day until I read and write here on SI. Ithink that focus is a good thing.
Finally, I feel like I am achieving more balance on my journey. Pary of it is because a lot of work has already been done. I don't have to keep wondering why I would do certain things. Another reason is that I am relearning how to deal with the syuff around me. It gets better, with time and practice.
Hang in there.
[This message edited by somethingremorse at 8:47 AM, July 24th (Thursday)]