Plus I have to drive on his road past his house today to get to a major highway
I live in a populated area, so it is easy enough to find another way to go, even if it might take you out of your way 15 or even 30 minutes. Is that not the case with you? Isn't there an alternate route? I only ask because it seems that the thought of you and your AP even driving past each other's houses causes your husband to get upset.
My AP drove on our rode the other day, which is part of why this has been sparked I believe.
How do you feel about your AP now? DDay end of Feb, Dday 2 about 2 1/2 months later in the beginning of May, today is about 2 1/2 months since last DDay in May and then recently OM drove past your house and now coincidentally you have to drive past OM's house to get to the highway. Could the timing have anything to do with how your husband is feeling? Does your husband believe in coincidences? Aside from the anger, does he have a lot of unfounded suspicions?
My advice as a BH: Stop trying to talk BH out of anything to do with OM. IMO it comes across as wanting to protect OM, not wanting to protect BH. In the mind of a BH, WW and OM shared a secret against BH; BH and WW have never shared a secret against OM. BH has to feel you're back on his side again. The more WW can badmouth OM, the less BH will feel he needs to prove anything by confronting OM.