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Going back to place you caught your ws? Bring wh or not?

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MomtoRoses posted 7/24/2014 17:08 PM

Ok, so I caught my wh last summer by finding texts on his phone. It was awful. Truly the worst day of my life and then many more disclosures bc that was only 1 affair.

We were visiting my mom. This summer it is my mom's 80th birthday. We will be staying in her guest room AGAIN. How am I going to handle this?? Wh says he wants it to work, goes to sa, sees an ic etc. He is waaaaay short on empathy and is overwhelmed when I'm feeling triggered. Staying at a hotel is out of question bc of $$$ as this past year has put us several thousand in debt.

I can't not go to my mom's birthday, but I don't have to take him. He says he wants to go, but I know he will have trouble supporting me. Should I just leave him home??

kate0421 posted 7/24/2014 20:04 PM

Is it a drive or really far? Maybe go alone and see how you feel? Can he drive up later if you change your mind? I don't think there is anything wrong with going alone IMO you should put yourself and your needs first, if that means going alone the first or first few times then so be it. I think it's nice he want to go with you, maybe he wants to be there to support you and prove he won't let you down? But if you choose to go alone he should respect your decision. GL

Mochagurl posted 7/24/2014 20:11 PM

I read a book that suggested going back to the places that the OP and your spouse were at and you create your own new memories there.

Just a thought.

StillGoing posted 7/24/2014 20:22 PM

I read a book that suggested going back to the places that the OP and your spouse were at and you create your own new memories there.

Just a thought.

Just be sure not to do it when you're really pissed off, so those memories don't involve maniacal laughter, fire, lurid glows on the horizon, that kind of stuff.

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