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Newest Member: Irishprincess (61813)

User Topic: Seperation and Reconciliation and how it affects young kids???
♂ 38622
Member # 38622
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a quick question. It has been almost 2 years since DDay and my wife and I are doing great. She was diagnosed with Major Clinical Depression and since she has been on the correct medication our life has changed so much for the better.

My question is regarding our child who is 8. I am sure this tramatic experience affected him. He remembers it and remembers my wife moving out etc. Lately I have been noticing him kind of depressed and hard on himself. I realized we have been working so hard on ourselves and marriage we have stopped to think about how it affected him. It is just starting to show up. He has been really down lately and beating himself up. I am worried he may have depression too.

Not sure if we should take him to a councelor, should I talk with him about the seperation, I feel like I am going to have to hide why we seperated (I feel like it is going to be blamed on me and I am going to be the bad guy but oh well.) I can't tell my 8 year old son that mom cheated on me with some other guy cause she was unhappy in the marriage because I played music and was gone two nights a week. Any advice would be appreciated.

ME-BS 34
M 6 Yrs
DDAY- 8/20/12

Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 41192
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think there is anything wrong with being proactive and contacting a therapist for him to talk to, at that age they have a lot starting to go on with their bodies, school, friends etc. I really worry about the affect of all this on my kids as things are very tense around here right now

Me: 36 BS 2 boys (5 & 8)
Him: 36 EXWH, SA/NPD, Craigslist, porn, cam sites. EA/PA with disgusting co-worker troll
Too many DDays 9/13-1/15, too many chances to be a good man
Together 16 yrs, married 7yrs,
Divorced 2/11/15
I deserve to be the ONLY one

Posts: 1835 | Registered: Nov 2013
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 6:47 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely seek out a counselor visit for your child. Regardless of the marital events, his behavior has you worried it is depression. So follow that path to prove or disprove your suspicion.

Posts: 54405 | Registered: Jun 2007
♀ 36813
Member # 36813
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH and I didn't separate, but my 5 yr old has seen and heard some pretty bad stuff. Although we tried to hide it, it has affected her. She and I are very close and I've been talking to her but I noticed she started withdrawing, having angry outbursts, and seems depressed from time to time. FWH and I talked and we agreed to take her to a counselor. I asked mine if she would see her bc she already knows my families drama. I explained to my dd why I wanted her to go and she was excited. Really liked her and I'm hoping by being proactive it will help her deal with things in a positive manner. The A is traumatic to all involved unfortunately. :(

Posts: 320 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 4

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