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What to do if invite says no gifts?

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Daisy312 posted 7/25/2014 07:36 AM

So I'm invited to a wedding celebration. Just the reception the couple got married last month. The invite says no gifts. I feel strange going empty handed but also want to honor their request. What would you do?

Lucky2HaveMe posted 7/25/2014 07:39 AM

Make a contribution to a charity in their name

Weatherly posted 7/25/2014 07:39 AM

Go with a card.

My husband I did NOT want gifts when we got married. We had grandma spread the word. I think we got a couple gift cards, which was nice. But, really, we just wanted a party and appreciated the congratulations cards.

hurtbs posted 7/25/2014 07:40 AM

You go and enjoy yourself!
If you feel you absolutely must provide a gift then consider a monetary one or make a donation to a charity in the couple's name. Are they passionate about the outdoors? Animals?

Bobbi_sue posted 7/25/2014 07:58 AM

I think when people say no gifts, people should just give them a card or if you have something sentimental with no real monetary value and want to give it, that would also be fine. If someone says no gifts, and then has hard feelings if you didn't give them a gift anyway, then I think that would be rather strange. I would hope that people who are really wanting gifts would not put "no gifts" on the invitation.

Amazonia posted 7/25/2014 08:09 AM

I thought no gifts meant cash...

movingforward777 posted 7/25/2014 09:21 AM

Perhaps a nice bottle of wine and a donation to their favorite charity?

GabyBaby posted 7/25/2014 10:37 AM

Go with a card.
My husband I did NOT want gifts when we got married. We had grandma spread the word. I think we got a couple gift cards, which was nice. But, really, we just wanted a party and appreciated the congratulations cards.

Same with us! We had two households worth of stuff, so we didn't need anything. We just wanted our friends and family to celebrate with us.

A card and/or a bottle of wine. (I don't like going empty-handed either).

Crescita posted 7/25/2014 10:52 AM

I think when people say no gifts, people should just give them a card or if you have something sentimental with no real monetary value and want to give it, that would also be fine.

I agree that something sentimental would be nice if you are close. Do you have an old picture of the couple? If they are readers maybe bookmarks with quotes about love/marriage. If you aren't that close a card with your well wishes should be sufficient.

positively4thst posted 7/25/2014 23:14 PM

No gifts means no gifts. Show up and celebrate love and friendship!

solus sto posted 7/26/2014 07:51 AM

I thought no gifts meant cash...
Nope. Would that be the epitome of gauche, or what?!

It means no gifts, at all.

When I get an invitation like this, I consider who sent it and whether it reflects the honoree's wishes. If I think the host/ess has made the wrong call (and I can think of two milestone birthday parties, recently, when overprivileged hostesses decided the guests of honor "needed" nothing more; the parties were ostentatious meals costing thousands--given for people struggling to meet the necessities in life, for whom gifts would have made a meaningful difference), I get a small but personal, meaningful present and give it privately so that rule-followers are not uncomfortable. (I might not give it at the event, but rather at another time.)

If I think "no gifts" does reflect the honoree's wish, I get a nice card and write something in it that reflects what I feel that the person has added to my life.

For this wedding, I'd do the latter, assuming the couple has made the decision together.

[This message edited by solus sto at 7:52 AM, July 26th (Saturday)]

Want2help posted 7/26/2014 23:59 PM

I often say "no gifts" for my own celebrations (I feel too old for gifts), but I would be so touched if someone made a donation to a charity in my honor, particularly something they knew I enjoyed (animals/environmental causes/disease research, etc.).

InnerLight posted 7/27/2014 18:13 PM

A lot of people have had it up to here with 'stuff' and are renting storage units for all the crap. Honor the request and realize that your presence is all that is wanted is wanted or needed. If you must bring something, a card is fine. If you think someone is in need give it privately.

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