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Coffee

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 ChangeMaker (original poster member #43899) posted at 2:39 PM on Friday, July 25th, 2014

I love coffee. It's my one regular, true vice. Sure, I drink alcohol a little, but I drink coffee. Regularly. Every day. All day.

I'm finding now though, that it is making me anxious about my situation (ending relationship with WW). Yesterday was very bad, I just had negative, circular thoughts all day long.

I might have to get some decaf going.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

DDay - June 2014
DD 2008 & 2011
Divorced April 1, 2015

posts: 2336   ·   registered: Jun. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Ontario
id 6885203
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 2:43 PM on Friday, July 25th, 2014

I love coffee. I had insomnia, full-out inability to sleep without ambien, for a month during non-OT appropriate time. It's only the last few weeks that I'm back to where I can drink coffee the way I'm used to (as a nightcap as well as a morning drink!).

Just one of those weird bubbles. I cut it out because of fear over staying awake during the insomnia, then it took a while for my caffeine tolerance AND my fear over tossing and turning all night to go away.

Go with decaf for now, but don't worry, coffee will welcome you back one day.

And find some way of deflecting those negative thoughts. Meditation? exercise? A walk? It's hard to derail our brains sometimes but any little bit helps.

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6885208
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 ChangeMaker (original poster member #43899) posted at 3:14 PM on Friday, July 25th, 2014

Good advice Norabird,

I've been running a lot, gradually working up to a 5k. I have also been meditating, though it has become much harder to clear my mind since D-Day.

I've been keeping myself pretty busy, but the coffee just makes me crazy.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

DDay - June 2014
DD 2008 & 2011
Divorced April 1, 2015

posts: 2336   ·   registered: Jun. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Ontario
id 6885257
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 3:21 PM on Friday, July 25th, 2014

I'm late to the coffee crowd (having been a life-long lover of tea), but man its good stuff.

I'm an oddball in that I don't feel the "jolt" that caffeine gives many, so I can drink it all day. I have bouts of insomnia as well and some things that consistently help me:

1. A good workout a few hours before bed

2. Making sure the room is dark (no lights from electronics, etc).

3. Lowering the lights about an hour before I'm ready for bed to get my mind/body into sleep mode (the darker room starts to settle my mind)

4. Something warm to drink (preferrably sipped in the darkened room).

Hope that helps!

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6885266
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 4:38 PM on Friday, July 25th, 2014

I sympathize because I love coffee, but man, it can really, REALLY affect your anxiety levels. I would definitely suggest some decaf. If you need to cut down instead of going cold turkey (I completely understand how much that sucks!) Green Mountain makes half-caff K-cups.

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 6885415
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StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 5:14 PM on Friday, July 25th, 2014

I started drinking coffee back when I started working, around 14, because the place I worked was a cafe and, well, I just had that shit going all day. I drank about 3 or more pots a day.

Kicking that habit was somewhere between quitting smoking and getting my drinking under control. I actually had the shakes from quitting coffee long enough to get it out of my system. Anymore I drink maybe 1 or 2 cups a day, the lower caffiene also means less heartburn for me.

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

posts: 7918   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 6885476
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Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 5:29 PM on Friday, July 25th, 2014

We moved to 50/50 about 18 months ago when dh was diagnosed with high blood pressure. I went full decaf about 6 months ago. Don't miss it. I drank about 4 cups in the morning, so not the worst habit. I feel so.much.better. w/out the caffeine.

Anyway, you may get some relief from going 50/50 first.

Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

posts: 8016   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2011
id 6885509
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sadone29 ( member #38597) posted at 5:35 PM on Friday, July 25th, 2014

I had to quit coffee. I was getting palpitations and it was making my anxiety so much worse. I miss it! I really was drinking way too much of it though. I looked up how much caffeine I was taking in and was really surprised by the number.

DDay Feb. 28, 2013
"It is an act of self-respect and preservation to not forgive."
He finally moved out only because I became on obstacle in his new affair.

posts: 1002   ·   registered: Mar. 1st, 2013
id 6885519
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purplejacket4 ( member #34262) posted at 6:09 PM on Friday, July 25th, 2014

I agree. Go to half caf first. Quitting cold turkey can make you sick.

Me: BS 50
Her: FWS 53 (both family med MDs; together 23 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
Limboconsiliationish
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???

posts: 3013   ·   registered: Dec. 20th, 2011   ·   location: Here
id 6885599
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Not.the.Big.Easy ( member #2569) posted at 1:43 AM on Sunday, July 27th, 2014

I used to drink a lot of coffee, probably about 8 pots a day. My housemate was the same and so the rule in our house was if you empty the pot, you refill the pot. The coffee maker was running all day. Basically because our coffee "cups" held just about a pot.

I was working at a construction site across from a Starbucks (I know it's bad coffee, but it was the nearest coffee). On the second day of going there they gave me free coffees for being such a good customer.

When I met my wife, she was surprised because I could drink a 24oz coffee just before bed and go right to sleep. Thanks to her belief that it was bad for me, I've gradually cut down my coffee consumption so I usually only have 48oz of coffee a day.

Me: BH (44)
Her: WW (37)(EAish)
Dday 7/23/14
Dday #2 9/9/14
TT #1 10/4/14
TT #2 10/14/14
Doubt I have the whole truth
D final 4/7/16

posts: 201   ·   registered: Nov. 1st, 2003   ·   location: Vermont
id 6887057
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Want2help ( member #20547) posted at 5:44 AM on Sunday, July 27th, 2014

Coffee makes me SO anxious. I switched to yerba mate (tea), and i'm heavily caffeinated, no jitters or anxiety.

FBS/WS- me.
F(serial)WS/BS- him.

Madhatters. More Ddays than birthdays, at this point. His OC, my OC...

UPDATE: Divorcing after almost 20 years.

posts: 2588   ·   registered: Aug. 7th, 2008
id 6887183
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StartingFreshNow ( member #44224) posted at 4:44 PM on Monday, July 28th, 2014

I have a sign on my desk "No Coffee, No Workee". It's true for me - it takes me until 9 to finish my mug of coffee and I guarantee what gets done in that time is something my 5 year old can do.

Me: WW
2 young kids
DDay - Dec 2013 (EA), TT
DDay 2 - Jul 28, 2014 (PA), TT
DDay 3 - end of Aug/beg of Sep 2014
(All the same A)

posts: 316   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2014   ·   location: USA
id 6888218
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