I can't seem to find good ways to fill my boredom. I really do want attention during that time. I will contact a couple other people but they almost always are busy with things like their jobs. Cruising the internet doesn't help and I'm at work so I can't do something like read a book or go for a walk - my mind wanders while I'm working and it's hard to fill it, but an "innocent" email is so easy to do and fills my needs. I do have ADHD that I'm treated for, but I think it makes my periods of "boredom" more frequent than lots of other people.
What do you do when you're bored - especially if you're instinct is to turn to something unhealthy (whether it's A-related or not)?
ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)
I do not PM with Women
But really, it's not enough, I still get bored...
[This message edited by StartingFreshNow at 11:13 AM, July 25th (Friday)]
I come out here a lot, and I have been known to play the occasional word game when I get really bored.
It will take awhile to figure out and form some good, healthy habits. You'll get there.
That's true - I bet I can find some online word games or things like that where it would still look like I was "working" even though I was just filling the mental boredom :)
I am on here a lot during the work day. I wasted my entire day on this site yesterday.
I've uploaded some of the books frequently recommended here: How to help your spouse heal from an affair, and Not Just Friends and have been reading those.
I've been thinking of journalling. A lot of times my brain just goes round and round with thoughts and I just need to capture them.
When I'm tired of thinking about the A and R and fixing myself and what I can do to help BH and just need a brain break, I'll either surf you-tube, or watch something on netflix, or I'll clean. haha! I'm a terrible housekeeper, but have in the last few weeks given my bedroom and closets a much-needed reorganization.
I run, and I used to knit, so I might pick up that again and finish some unfinished projects that have been put aside now that I have more spare time.
Do you draw or doodle? Anything creative?
Go for a walk? Yoga? Deep breathing?
It's gotten easier for me in the last couple months (I'm 5.5 months post A) to be more content with calm instead of looking for that buzz.
[This message edited by familyfirst at 2:03 PM, July 25th (Friday)]
When I'm not at work, I am trying to beat it out of myself with exercise. I am so sore and tired that I can barely move.
When my thoughts start to race at work, I wear headphones and crank my music hoping to drown them out.
Boredom is dangerous territory!
It's true - I work in a secluded office but I also have another desk in an office with some co-workers. When I get bored I need to relocate myself to that desk so I'm around people and can have conversations in real life as a distraction.
I like all the ideas you guys have given me as well. Thank you!
Because boredom can be easily overcome with any physical or mental activity. (such as actually doing the work your being paid for. )
Or is it missing the 'high' of the affair?
"Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few." Pythagoras
There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
The come down from the constant stimulation of emails from the AP is like withdrawing from a drug addiction. I haunted my smartphone for weeks, not that I was eager to receive messages from her--indeed I was afraid that something would pop up because then I would have to share it with my BW and everything would start all over again--but I was addicted to the stimulus of receiving the messages. I was actually grateful for spam! (How sick is that?) Eventually I got over that, and now I can go hours without checking my phone in the evenings and on weekends. My family noticed too. That spoke volumes to me.
I now have a lot more time for my BW, my kids, and myself. I'm reading for fun again. I'm exercising regularly. I'm watching more movies. I'm reading a lot on SI, writing in my journal, and engaging with my BW on repairing our M in any way I can. I've made a list of 20 things I can do for my BW that will help her heal, and I do several from that list daily.
The internet is a dangerous place for bored waywards. My descent into the world of A started through boredom on the internet. You know where should not go on the internet, so don't go there.
Make a list of constructive things to do. Keep the list handy whether you're at home, at work, or on travel. Refer to it when you're bored, pick something from it--even if you have to resort to "eeny, meeny, miny, moe"--and follow through on that choice. 10 minutes into whatever you've selected, you'll forget that you were bored in the first place and feel so much better for having don something constructive.
Good luck.
I'm going to start making some lists now. If any of you would like to share what's on your list, please do so :)
R is so much work that "bored" is something that i cannot comprehend.
Immerse yourself in your BSes pain and see how "bored" you can be.
I just don't get this. Truly.
If you are bored, read a book about infidelity. Read on JFO. Do anything, but above all quit whining about something that is so insignificant in the whole scheme of things.
Basically.....get the message. GET IT. Or get divorced. And quote the cause as......BOREDOM.
Life's tough, it's tougher when your stupid.
