Your story wasn't in your profile so I had to read your past posts to get an idea of your situation.
I hate to say it, but this guy hasn't been one bit remorseful for anything he's ever done. Ever.
All he does is act like a jackass and constantly cross boundaries, then give you that wide-eyed look of surprise when you call him on his shit.
I honestly don't believe for one single second that his 10 month 'friendship' with his OW co-worker was just an EA. Not even one second. Anytime cheaters have face time together, they're going to take advantage of it. Sorry.
You basically only know the bullshit he's telling you. I actually chuckled when I read one of your posts where you say HE claimed that his OW co-worker had found someone 'else' to talk to and he was all bummed out about it. What a line of bullshit - designed PURELY to throw you off the scent. You can't believe anything out of his mouth - ESPECIALLY since the guy has zero remorse for what he's done, and all he ever tells you is that he doesn't see himself sticking around for the long haul. Almost every one of your posts mentions some nasty comment he's made about not wanting to live with you forever, or he wants his own place, or he's not sure he loves you, or he loves you 'as a person' and on and on and on. He's basically voiced it more times than I can count that he's NOT in it to win it.
So anything out of his mouth can't be believed. The reason I say I chuckled about his ridiculous comment that the OW has a new 'friend' to talk to is that it reminded me so much of the same bullshit story I was told by my cheating ex. It's simply a line of crap designed to throw you off the track and nothing more. My ex claimed that the OW had gone back to her old ex boyfriend - except he'd told SO many lies at that point that he couldn't even remember what he'd said and what he hadn't said anymore. About a week later when I mentioned something about his fat-ass OW being back with her old boyfriend, my ex actually looked at me like I had two heads and asked, "where did you get THAT idea???" I told him HE had told me that one week ago!!!!! He actually told me I was crazy and that he had never said it. I told him he had lied so friggen much that he couldn't even keep his stories straight anymore.
Your husband's story about the OW getting a new friend sounds like a crock of shit, plain and simple.
I think he's still involved with her, I 100% believe it was (and still is) a physical affair (regardless of all the phony baloney stories he tells you about them not talking and her having a new friend) and I think THAT'S why you've gotten no farther along in the 6 months since D-Day then you are right now.
I hate to say it, but even though I only joined in 2013, I've been reading this board faithfully for over 10 years. I've seen this exact scenario that you're dealing with right now played out so many times by other BS's over the years that it's not even funny.
This guy has kept you in limbo for 6 months now, and NOW he's claiming he needs 'time' to himself. They only do that when they're still knee-deep in the affair and need some breathing room so they can continue having their cake and eating it too. If he hasn't been able to get his head out of his ass for 6 months, there's a REASON for it, TodayI'mStronger. And it's NEVER a good one.
[This message edited by NeverAgain2013 at 10:41 AM, July 26th (Saturday)]