My BW and I are at my inlaws vacation house this weekend.
Last time we were here I was involved in my A.
The last time here was to give us some "us" time. No kids no dog.
During this time my AP was texting me and angry at me for being with my wife. I got so caught up in trying to talk her down via text that I basically ignored my wife.
To make matters even worse I gave my AP a sweatshirt from the area that my BW bought for me.
So we made it early this morning and we slept in the living room. Today has been a day of triggers for each of us.
Mine are major waves of sorrow and remorse for being such an selfish asshat. I have tainted so many different aspects of our lives that it seems that triggers are everywhere.
Her's are the thoughts of being up here basically alone because I was off in fantasyland. Remembering that I gave AP something from a place that was so special to us. The sweatshirt had something on it that is all over the place here. So there are triggers all over.
But here we are none the less.
Right now one of the thoughts I have had is "Thank God I never brought AP here for a visit." I have tainted this place way too much as it is with just her knowing I was texting AP while we were together on a trip that was supposed to be for us.
This time I have been on my phone for less than an hour today. Most of that was to look over SI.
So keep us in your thoughts please.