SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

painfulpast posted 7/26/2014 20:48 PM

Saw an interesting article - and it says that women that suspect their husbands are cheating are right 85% of the time. 85% That means, if your gut is screaming, there's an 85% chance you're on to something. For the men, it's 50%. Maybe there is something to 'women's intuition'????

Here is the article:

http://www.pinow.com/articles/1061/infidelity-infographic

OkNotOk posted 7/26/2014 22:03 PM

I hear you.

I wish I had listened to my gut.

Nature_Girl posted 7/26/2014 22:51 PM

Same here. I was not crazy, I was right!

ButterflyGirl posted 7/26/2014 23:17 PM

Can't believe I missed all of those. I'm SUCH an idiot sometimes..

Wish I had seen that sooner. It should be mandatory education in high schools..

Ostrich80 posted 7/26/2014 23:38 PM

It took me 2 yrs to confirm what I felt...instinct doesn't fail you. I asked a friends husband who was a part time PI, now mind you, this was when I had just starting thinking hmmm somethings amiss, I said there are some things that kind of don't add up. He said hold on, if you feel it, your prob right. He said almost every woman that hired him was basically wanting confirmation, they already knew by gut feeling.

Jrazz posted 7/27/2014 01:41 AM

Listening to your gut is so very important. I sure didn't and that was a HUGE mistake.

I think I'm a little offended on behalf of the guys that this survey is offering a questionably sampled statistic as representative of the general population, implying that their intuition is inferior based on their gender.

Just my $0.02

[This message edited by Jrazz at 1:43 AM, July 27th (Sunday)]

nolight posted 7/27/2014 04:44 AM

It's an add for a PI company whose intent is to prey on a spouses insecurities to encourage them to use their services. I hate this sort of predatory advertising

Edit typos

[This message edited by nolight at 4:45 AM, July 27th (Sunday)]

Charmedwren posted 7/27/2014 06:52 AM

Very interesting. I was on high alert as he changed so drastically, but he still tried to convince me I was crazy.

jb3199 posted 7/27/2014 06:57 AM

On D-day#1, my gut was screaming at me. It turned out that I was 100% correct.

On my last D-day, my gut said nothing. I was totally blindsided. 0% for that one.

That makes my gut 1 for 2.

What did you say the gut percentage was for males?

rachelc posted 7/27/2014 07:11 AM

I had my husband followed by a PI for two hours and I caught him with another woman. Two hours - out of 25 years of marriage.

heartbrokeninaz posted 7/27/2014 07:48 AM

I knew 12 hours after it happened. Just had a sick feeling in my stomach. Logged into his facebook and dang if they weren't messaging each other right in front of my eyes. I would say I have an excellent intuition. Scary almost.

Deanna posted 7/27/2014 15:43 PM

No wonder I was blindsided. He only changed one of his behaviors!
I should however listened to my gut that she was trouble.

wanttogoforward posted 7/27/2014 20:11 PM

I know my gut was right at least twice!- the two times he was actually caught anyway- still think I was right on the one I couldn't prove, but hey, if I'd had the money then I sure would've hired a PI to prove it!

I guess I can see the idea that a man is not quite as good at instinctively feeling the cheating in his gut- why you might ask? Of all the men I know- married or in a relationship- they are not quite as observant as the ladies I know are..... if a woman changes things it may not seem weird to a man: think of the variety of things we ladies do: hair color, tan, nails, shopping for new things- none of these would be a red flag to most husbands UNLESS a new pattern emerges- and THAT is the big difference. The new and strange pattern that never existed before!

My H wouldn't bat an eyelash at 'trimming' important areas, new undies, shopping at Victoria's Secret, or new dresses- why? Because they are things I have always done and are not new and unusual patterns of behavior for me..... Now if I was suddenly doing things I had never done even once in my life I would think he would be at least curious about why and wonder.....

In my case I can safely say it pays to be observant for even the tiny changes- this was how I caught on... the change was minute and very subtle- and I actually first thought I was crazy for thinking this way.... he did not change his work hours drastically (maybe added about a half hour), didn't change grooming habits- he did that a year before (Mid life crisis!!!!), cell phone was not an issue- never used... so what was it? Tiny little things- logging out of an email once when I came into the area.... casually mentioning he was interested in some things a 'client' was selling.... not as interested in touching me or talking to me about private things..... extra happy to go to work... no big changes.... just tiny, tiny ones, but enough to make me pause..... and therein lies the issue- HOW MANY OF US IGNORED THOSE TINY NAGGING SIGNS AS OUR IMAGINATION?????? Don't ignore them!

cosmicjoke posted 7/28/2014 12:39 PM

Time after time, with nearly every one of these lists, I see them miss the biggest & possibly most obvious one:
'INCREASED (or sudden) ALCOHOL &/OR DRUG USE'.

WHY do they always leave this one out... ????

seethelight posted 7/28/2014 12:59 PM

I missed all of these.

But, I that will never happen again.

steppingup posted 7/28/2014 13:05 PM

I'm a man, but my "woman's" intuition has been 100% accurate.

I predicted my WW's last affair before it happened, she agreed when I called it well ahead of it happening, and she blew through my caution signs (at least three of them) with no concern for our relationship...now in ashes, she has been feeling like a dope for not heeding my warnings, but now she is in "affair love"..fogged out, not sure what she wants.

But perhaps that is because I am the personality type

INFP - The Idealist
Quiet, reflective, and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick, and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.

[This message edited by steppingup at 1:11 PM, July 28th (Monday)]

painfulpast posted 7/28/2014 13:09 PM

Time after time, with nearly every one of these lists, I see them miss the biggest & possibly most obvious one:
'INCREASED (or sudden) ALCOHOL &/OR DRUG USE'.

i don't think this is as common as the others (hiding phone, increased concern with appearance) in general. It's not as common here on SI. It may have been very true for you and your WS, but in general I think the others are far more common.

TrustedHer posted 7/28/2014 14:07 PM

62% of investigators say that infidelity is confirmed in over 75% of cases.

What? That stat doesn't even make sense.

What do the other 38% say?

And by "Say", do they mean guess? Or keep records?

While I can actually believe some of the numbers they ended up with, I'm pretty sure their methodology sucks.

This is not peer-reviewed science, by any long shot.

jb3199 posted 7/28/2014 16:08 PM

62% of investigators say that infidelity is confirmed in over 75% of cases.

What? That stat doesn't even make sense.

When I see this, I can't help but think of the line from "Anchorman":

"60% of the time....it works all the time."(Sex Panther Cologne)