Also finished up a memorial cross to put on the front of his mud truck. This was his very first vehicle, a '86 Ford F-150, that he converted for mudding (big tires, lift kit, etc.). That was his baby, known affectionately as Ol' Blue. It has been sitting in my yard and I have lovingly been starting it up and driving short distances to rotate the tires throughout his enlistment. Still do it. He told me he would never get rid of her, so she will stay with me (along with his regular truck and motorcycle) wherever I go. I told DDs to think about Ol' Blue's future because eventually she will fall in their lap.
Between my vehicle, DD17's jacked up truck, and all of DS's vehicles, my yard looks like a used car lot!
I have also found a solution for all DS's military ACUs. It's not like anyone can really use them. A friend of my deceased brother offered to make a quilt for me. I asked her if she would make two, and she readily agreed. She is going to make a quilt out of DS's military clothing for each DD, and she is going to create a hand with a pen on the reverse side so I can write a letter to each DD. I ran the idea by ex and he was actually on board (not before saying, "But I want xyz first..."). This will be a surprise for the girls I think they will really find meaningful.
I also found sterling silver lockets for them (and me) that are in the shape of angel's wings that I am going to put his pic in along with a lock of hair I had the funeral director get for me (he gave me plenty for three lockets). The girls know the significance of DS's hair to me, so this should really hit home with them in a positive way.
Lastly, I found some of his extra dog tags. I also found a place online where I could order custom dog tags. I am going to give each DD one of his dog tags with a custom tag on a chain that is imprinted with, " Forever remembered, always loved" along with his name and birth/death dates. They don't know this is coming their way either...
I know they will be touched, and I hope they appreciate the effort. I really don't need physical stuff from him because he is always with me in my memories and my heart.
Very bittersweet indeed, but I'm okay.
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
“Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.”
WH#2 (SorryInSac) - 47
Together 8, M 5yrs. DDay 7/12/14
I filed for D 5/18/15.
He committed suicide 5/28/15.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
My Affair: 2015
Status: trying to pick up the pieces.
You should write a book.
Your thoughtfulness and grace during this most difficult time are impressive. These mementos will be treasured by your DDs forever.
You take your time on the cleanup. There's not a time limit on that. It's good that you are managing to do it in bite-sized chunks.
Like your name, you are not only rising from the ashes of the catastrophic events of your losses, but you are also beautiful, unique, and an inspiration for all of us.
Best wishes for continued healing,