What is y'all's take on this?
"Disappointed that ya'll cant make it to the Keys ... We never know when our time on Earth is done ...It has been very hard since 2008 when Uncle was diagnosed. .. Also my emergency Back Surgery in 2012 because of the mass in my Back ... Hopefully God gives us more time ...We never know ; this may be our last trip to the Keys..Take Care ..XOXOX
Just explaining ... No pressure. .. An old persons look at Life ... Uncle is 70 & I am almost 64 ... Love Ya'll. ..I am going to send my pictures or try to..We are in the Naples area ... xo"
Why does she always bring up their medical history???
[This message edited by knightsbff at 6:14 PM, July 27th (Sunday)]
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
Can you skype and have a few video chats instead?
Bringing up medical stuff - it's what older folks do! LOL You will know you are old when you sit around and everyone talks about their medical issues. I was at a baby shower once and sat at table with all of the older relatives (I am just a neighbor of the bride) - it was 2 hours of non-stop talk about aches & pains & tests & Drs ....
Unless she is a manipulative type and she really wanted to shame you, I wouldn't read too much into it. Just respond that you were glad to be able to see them for lunch and hope to see them again soon.
[This message edited by Lucky2HaveMe at 6:23 PM, July 27th (Sunday)]
I live in South Florida. I love the Keys but I also know that the Keys are terrible for people/kids who don't enjoy spending hours on the beach. That's not my thing (maybe an afternoon), but otherwise it can be a tedious trip.
Also, if it was that important she should have arranged it in advance.
Very manipulative, I'm sorry.
[This message edited by hurtbs at 8:02 PM, July 27th (Sunday)]
"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid
...no pressure??? Really??!!!
You took them out for lunch; that was a wonderful gift of time, too.
I showed DD22 the texts and she said, "mom, is everyone in your family crazy? I wonder how old I will be when I catch it." I thought, "Darlin, you don't know the half of it." Poor kids. I'm trying to get her into IC now hoping she can sidestep some of the most painful life lessons I've had to learn the hard way.
I sent my Aunt a "love you guys, glad we got to see you, be safe and enjoy your trip" text.
She's gotten really strange the last few years.
Is it possible she is suffering from early onset dementia or Alzheimers? Not that your particular examples seem to fit with that, but they do say when older people have big personality changes that is often the reason. But what do I know, I'm not a doctor.
It sounds like she was trying to guilt trip you...I grew up in an Irish Catholic family so I'm well acquainted with that dynamic. Just try to shrug it off.
Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.
I'm over it. I just thought it was really weird. In the past I would have loved to have been invited on that trip but she has always invited my brother. Now she's acting put out because we decided not to change our plans and trek 8 hours further south during lobster mini season (it will be packed, we have no reservations...). I lived in the keys for 5 years. I would love to go back but not this trip. I want knight to enjoy this vacay and the Keys are a trigger for him because that is where I met and married my 1st H (has nothing to do with my infidelity, it's just something that is tough for knight to deal with).
I love my Aunt and Uncle, but I will not be hijacked or made to feel guilty. Some stuff I have learned around here. Boundaries. I'm protecting my H and my family's best interests and time.
I'm choosing to deal with it by loving them and just letting comments like that roll off. I do that sometimes with family stuff. I consider if it's worth it to address an attitude or statement that I disagree with. Something's I feel I have to face head on and something I feel I can just ignore and happily go about my life wishing the offender well with the understanding that they are probably doing the best they know how to. Is that a healthy way to cope or is it conflict avoidance?
She has been strangely manipulative with other family members over the last few years. I don't have a problem with her talking about their medical problems at all, it's the way she brings them up....kind of like leverage or something.
Yep, my two youngest kids would not enjoy the keys. They get very anxious in the water, especially the ocean. Oldest DD, knight and I like to scuba dive so we would find something to do but the other two would be bored on the boat.
Hurtbs & NG,
Manipulative was what I was thinking too, but I was wondering if I was over analyzing...
I was thinking that was a bit overkill on the age thing...Uncle is my dad's youngest brother and dad still plays 18 holes 4 or 5 times a week.
I was actually wondering when I was talking to her today if she maybe had a stroke or some anoxic brain injury when she had the emergency back surgery in 2012. Her speech is a little slurred and her face is different. I was trying to stay out of her business but I couldn't help wondering if she has one provider managing all of her meds to make sure she doesn't have some interaction going on or something. She is very different than the last time I saw her.
She has been sort of feuding with my other family members in the area lately and blowing up fb with all sorts of cryptic dramatic statements over the last year. When I was far away reading it my sibs and I would kind of laugh and say she's getting kind of crazy in her golden years. But seeing her, now I'm kind of worried about her.
The last time she really went off on me for neglecting her was at our house when we had them stay with us for a week for Christmas.
I feel ya. (((kbff)))
And then let it go. Whether or not she was trying to make you feel guilty, you still get a choice in whether or not you actually do.