Hi SI friends,
I wanted to throw this out there and see if anyone else has or had a similar experience and how you handled it. I'll try and make this as brief as possible:
My STBXWW and I were on vacation with my brother and his wife a few years ago - BEFORE my DDay. One night while there, me and my bro went out for beers alone and he confessed that he had slept with another woman back in his hometown. We live in different cities far from each other. I recall telling him that I loved him no matter, but kept any judgement or opinion to myself - I didn't approve (obviously) but didn't "judge" him either. That was literally the last time we've ever discussed the issue.
Fast forward six months, and I have my first, of a few, DDays. I don't need to say more....you all know.....I was shattered. The one love of my life betrayed me, and I'll never be the same again.
Fast forward again a couple of years. We tried to R, but ultimately, here we are in the divorce process. It's almost over.
My brother knows the facts of what happened with my STBXWW, but we've never discussed it in any meaningful way. Since my DDay and through my failed R, my relationship with my brother has withered to almost nothing. Neither of us reaches out to the other. Sometimes we share an email, but usually it's a "group" family email that also includes other family members. Never anything just to each other. We used to be terribly close - similar interest in sports, music, same sense of humor, lots of love between us. Now, it's like we barely exist to each other.
I feel like my brother's A has effected my relationship with him, how I feel about him (not that I don't have love for him, but respect(?)), and I'm not sure what to do or how to resolve this in my head.
I need some advice. Has anyone had a similar experience? How'd you handle it? Especially the BS's, what did you do when you found out someone has been a WS, especially if they are a good friend or even more if they are family that you love?
Thanks!