It is not like she hasn't made herself clear. I have just been hoping that as all of her family and mine disapprove of her actions, "they all hate me", that it would make her realize what she is doing. She is so deep in the fog.
3 times now she has asked me, "what do you do to put DD to bed? Does she scream for me? Does she keep you up all nite?". And the answer is no. She sleeps peacefully in the home she has known all her life. She is only 13months old, and i now her staying at OM apt. is confusing DD. But my WW says it is her "home" too. A load of bs. WW doesn't even recognize the bad nites for what they are, our daughter's attempt to communicate to us.
I have been keeping a strict calendar of when she has our DD and when i do. As part of that calendar, WW has not slept over nite in our home for 3 weeks. She lied about NC the 1st week, and at first it seemed like not filing would give us a chance to communicate in SOME capacity. But especially the last 2 weeks she avoids me, doesn't answer texts or calls to coordinate a sitter or bills.
I care too much to "take her for all she's worth", but even though i don't want to deprive her of our daughter, if i can get sole custody i am strongly considering it. Just worried how i am supposed to support myself and my DD and work 2 jobs. I can move back in with my parents, or find an overpriced apt. Neither is ideal, but i am pretty sure i can't keep the house on my own.
I still find myself crying at random songs on the radio, or when i look at wedding/anniversary cards at work. Anger has been at a minimum, or at least my expression of it. Acceptance is settling in. Only 3 weeks out from D-day, pretty sure the numbness is lingering.
Thanks for the support SI compatriots. We never wanted to be here, but at least we aren't here alone. If anyone has any advice, especially about divorce proceedings, I'm listening now.
The lawyer i am supposed to meet tomorrow is giving me a discount because of an assistance program my work offers. 25% off, so 200$ an hour with a retainer starting at 1500-2000. Parents are footing the bill. WW wants to negotiate everything, but her decisions making abilities are compromised, so I'm looking for a lawyer who would be assertive, but open to settlement.