SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

selkiescot posted 7/30/2014 06:24 AM

Back some 44 years ago I remember sitting in my WH's parents(he was still livng at home at 31) house. We had been dating for about 2 years of and on and I think at that point we were getting serious.

He was debating going on the road with a show band that contained his old girlfriend and I ofcourse was uncomfortable with the idea. Very uncomfortable with the idea. She was always around. Always showing up where she shouldn't have been and he never told her to go away.
The phone rang and it was another old girlfriend who also continued to hang around and actually some 30 years later became OW 123.

WHy didnt I see back then? Why was a so blind that I didn't see my life spreading out before me with a continuing trail of old girlfriends. They are both still hanging around. 44 years later and I am still dealing with the same 2 women pursuimg my WH.
So 44 years later I am still dealing with his ego and need for attention. Nothing changes but me.

BtraydWife posted 7/30/2014 07:28 AM

We want to believe the excuses we are given about situations that make us uncomfortable. We really want to believe it's not as bad as it feels. It's self denial, it's very powerful, and cheaters take advantage of it. Most BS's have it at some level. It's the BS fog. We stifle the red flags and alarms going off inside of us. Sometimes we just aren't prepared to face the pain.

I don't know what your current situation is but I hope you are working to get to a safer place for yourself. This man isn't going to change. You being able to see that is what makes me feel hopeful for you.

Williesmom posted 7/30/2014 07:32 AM

((selkie))

Nothing changes until you change it. You have to make yourself a priority in your life.

steadfast1973 posted 7/30/2014 07:33 AM

I TOTALLY should have seen it all. But he was so so "anti-cheating". It "sickened him". No lie, when it all unfolded, I felt so stupid.

AmSoDone posted 7/30/2014 07:42 AM

So 44 years later I am still dealing with his ego and need for attention. Nothing changes but me

Mines 32 years but I could have written this. I ignored the red flags, alarms, sirens, everything and still went back for more.

You are so right - nothing changes but me. Time to get off the merry-go-round it's making me sick.