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selkiescot (original poster member #23777) posted at 12:24 PM on Wednesday, July 30th, 2014
Back some 44 years ago I remember sitting in my WH's parents(he was still livng at home at 31) house. We had been dating for about 2 years of and on and I think at that point we were getting serious.
He was debating going on the road with a show band that contained his old girlfriend and I ofcourse was uncomfortable with the idea. Very uncomfortable with the idea. She was always around. Always showing up where she shouldn't have been and he never told her to go away.
The phone rang and it was another old girlfriend who also continued to hang around and actually some 30 years later became OW 123.
WHy didnt I see back then? Why was a so blind that I didn't see my life spreading out before me with a continuing trail of old girlfriends. They are both still hanging around. 44 years later and I am still dealing with the same 2 women pursuimg my WH.
So 44 years later I am still dealing with his ego and need for attention. Nothing changes but me.
The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.
BtraydWife ( member #42581) posted at 1:28 PM on Wednesday, July 30th, 2014
We want to believe the excuses we are given about situations that make us uncomfortable. We really want to believe it's not as bad as it feels. It's self denial, it's very powerful, and cheaters take advantage of it. Most BS's have it at some level. It's the BS fog. We stifle the red flags and alarms going off inside of us. Sometimes we just aren't prepared to face the pain.
I don't know what your current situation is but I hope you are working to get to a safer place for yourself. This man isn't going to change. You being able to see that is what makes me feel hopeful for you.
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 1:32 PM on Wednesday, July 30th, 2014
((selkie))
Nothing changes until you change it. You have to make yourself a priority in your life.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
steadfast1973 ( member #24719) posted at 1:33 PM on Wednesday, July 30th, 2014
I TOTALLY should have seen it all. But he was so so "anti-cheating". It "sickened him". 
No lie, when it all unfolded, I felt so stupid.
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
AmSoDone ( member #43871) posted at 1:42 PM on Wednesday, July 30th, 2014
So 44 years later I am still dealing with his ego and need for attention. Nothing changes but me
Mines 32 years but I could have written this. I ignored the red flags, alarms, sirens, everything and still went back for more.
You are so right - nothing changes but me. Time to get off the merry-go-round it's making me sick. 
BP(me) 53
WP (scumbag) 55
On-off for 32 years
1DD
1 DGD
Too many D Days to count. Same with OW.
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