14 months since final Dday. He's been slow in IC but continues to go twice a month, we did MC for a year. I'm in IC, and love my counselor.
My issue now is that it feels like he's just replaced OW with his work. He's working 12-14 hours a day. Works every second he's home, and worked through our vacation. He has drama with his job weekly,some he creates, some he has no control over. But it never ends. We spend no quality time together, date night has completely stopped and I am increasingly becoming less engaged as time marches on. I feel like we live together, but we don't share our lives together. He has his world of work, fantasy sports and Syfy and I'm running the house taking care of kids and I am BORED out of my mind when I have down time. I've just lost passion for things I used to love. It's slowly coming back, but I'm not even close to 100%.
Intimacy has dwindled to once a week. He talks about nothing to me but work and it's clear that I'm not interested. He doesn't remember anything I tell him about dates, plans, the kids or household issues. He does 1 thing around the house (cleans the cat box) and that's it. I have a 4k sqft house and I'm overwhelmed. If I ask him to do something, he pawns it off on the kids.
I'm not going any where, I don't want to leave, but I do to want this kind if relationship either. I don't think he's doing anything significant in IC, I'm not sure what he talks about because he shares minimally.
Is anyone else hit this point? How did you get out of this rut? I'm So shut down right now I don't talk to him about any of this. When I do he just goes into "self loathing mode" and i end up reassuring him. I know this is manipulation and I have confronted him about it, but the pattern doesn't change.
I am finally coming out the depression I've been in for months, but now I just feel flat.
ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 26,16, 15 and 13
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere