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Newest Member: jon72 (46048)

User Topic: exhausted
PrtyInPink
♀ 44148
Member # 44148
Helpless  Posted: 9:34 AM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am absolutely mentally exhausted. WH was on a rampage last night. He was pissed at me for sending him to jail. He's upset because he is having to deal with a lawyer and the courts and everything else. He left the house around 9:30 and didn't come back until 11:30. He was texting me, being mean, accusing me of having a boyfriend. It doesn't matter what I say, he says he is 99% sure that I have secrets that I'm not telling him.

He got home (I just found out from my SIL that he was at his brother's house drinking). We talked for about 2 hours. He told me that it's all my fault he went to jail. That I'm the one who started the fight that caused him to lose his temper. Then he brings up how he is spending all this money on bail fees and lawyer fees and he'll probably have to pay for anger management classes. Then he started in about how the previous day I had flipped out cause he wanted me to "watch" a $9000 motor on ebay for him and I took it as he wanted to buy it. He said that I went from being completely happy to being pissed off which in turn triggered me and I felt like shit. He said that he was hoping that we could talk about how I felt and I could explain to him what was going on instead of me immediately getting pissed. He said that he is afraid to tell me how he feels now because it'll either trigger me into a sad state or else if he's talking kinda sexual I'll wonder if he talked to the OW like that. So of course that makes me feel like shit and feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I am just absolutely emotionally exhausted by all this. I have no idea what to do. Part of me thinks he wont change because he proved that to me last night. Then the other part of me just wanted to get past this court crap so that we can concentrate on figuring out our relationship.

[This message edited by PrtyInPink at 9:38 AM, July 30th (Wednesday)]


Me: 30ish Him: 30ish (99% sure he has NPD)
Together 14 yrs, Married 9 yrs
His #1 EA D-day 10/20/09
His #2 PA/EA D-day 7/11/14
My PA D-day 10/21/09
My brain says leave, my heart says stay

Posts: 308 | Registered: Jul 2014
itainteasy
♀ 31094
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, I don't know your story..

I'm going to say this: It is NOT your fault he went to jail. It is HIS fault that he acted whatever way in which he acted in order to have the police called and him arrested.

Don't let him blame you for his actions.

I'm sorry you're hurting.

((((PrtyInPink))))


Posts: 3433 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
PrtyInPink
♀ 44148
Member # 44148
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Long story short....I found out on july 11 (a Friday) that he had a one-time PA and then an ongoing EA for 3 years with the same woman. He was very mean about it when I found out...saying that we are "even" now (I had an EA that he thinks I have never told the full truth about). The next couple days were hell; me feeling my emotions and him being dismissive, distant and ignoring me. On Monday he went to a softball game that was supposed to be over at 8:00 and he wasn't home. So I texted him asking where he was at, he didn't respond. I figured he had stopped to see his OW so I said "keeping your girlfriend company?" Supposedly THAT comment was what set him off. He came home, grabbed my phone from me, wanted to know who I was texting and why I had deleted messages (which I didn't delete anything and even told him he's free to log on and look at my cell phone records). I basically tried to end the drama and get away from him by sleeping on the couch. He didn't like it, proceeded to threaten me so I called the police. He ended up going to jail because he wasn't complying with the cop. He got the no contact lifted last week, thinking that we could start working on things. Everything was great for 3-4 days and everything went to shit a couple days ago.


Me: 30ish Him: 30ish (99% sure he has NPD)
Together 14 yrs, Married 9 yrs
His #1 EA D-day 10/20/09
His #2 PA/EA D-day 7/11/14
My PA D-day 10/21/09
My brain says leave, my heart says stay

Posts: 308 | Registered: Jul 2014
Topic Posts: 3

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