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simplydevastated posted 7/30/2014 10:21 AM

So, part of my continued situation is that our landlord is selling our condo. We found a larger townhouse minutes down the road. I should be happy to be leaving here, but I'm not.

We have to be out by the end of August.

My husband is still hinting around at mortgages and there's no force on this planet that will get me sign a mortgage with him. He's also saying that this is "only for a year." So he's still making huge decisions without including me.

All I am is maid and sitter to him.

I've gone on several interviews, all seemed so promising. The last interview they were saying "you'll go into this training when you start." etc... just to be told a few days later that I didn't get the job. I know there's something out there, I just need to find it, but it's getting hard.

So... Back to moving. I don't know how I'm going to handle this. He said he can get a number of guys over here to help. My concern is who? I know he talks shit about us behind our backs so I'm going to be trying to move while worrying what he's said to these people. He's excellent at the victim role.

How am I going to get through this?

norabird posted 7/30/2014 10:38 AM

((((simplydevastated)))

What others may think is no concern of yours. hold your head up high and try not to go down the rabbit hole of feeling exposed or vulnerable because you're afraid of how you've been represented. I know it's unfair that he makes you feel unsafe, but really, who cares what anyone else might think based on a twisted version of reality? Just focus on your job hunt and know that the only opinion of you that matters in the world is your own.

[This message edited by norabird at 2:21 PM, July 30th (Wednesday)]

simplydevastated posted 7/30/2014 11:52 AM

Thank you Nora. You're right, it's just difficult for me because I'm not the person he portrays me to be. I don't like people thinking "Oh that poor guy, he married such a bitch!" When in reality, that's not the case at all.

norabird posted 7/30/2014 14:21 PM

At least all of us on SI know it's not the case! Whatever guys he may have to help with the move are far less important than us.

tushnurse posted 7/30/2014 14:25 PM

I really think you should be yourself. When you do, those men, if they have any sense and quality they will see right through that shit.
Anyway who gives a flip, as long as he doesn't expect you to carry the Fridge, and Washer and dryer.
Hang in there on the job front. It will come. Just keep plugging along, and before you know it, you will be comfortable, with interviews, and knock their stinky socks right off.

simplydevastated posted 7/30/2014 16:07 PM

At least all of us on SI know it's not the case! Whatever guys he may have to help with the move are far less important than us.

This is so true

Thank you TN.

I'm trying. I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong with the interviews. It's been so long that I don't know if I'm answering questions properly, if I'm not portraying myself in the best light. I don't know.

The last sounded so positive. It was all "when." "When you start," "when this and that." That's why I was so surprised when I received the turn down email. It truly seemed like I nailed that one.

GabyBaby posted 7/30/2014 17:07 PM

XWH was DEFINITELY married to a bitch.
But then, he caused that bitchiness, so he shouldn't complain. I was (and still am) as sweet as pie to most everyone else unless given a reason to be less than.

Hold your head up high, hon. YOU have nothing to be ashamed of. HE is the turd on the bottom of your shoe.

((( simplydev )))

Shockleader posted 7/30/2014 17:30 PM

SD, you are a very high quality, genuine person... Don't even give a care to what these brainwashed dudes have been told; while in your presence, all the lies will crumble. I wish you the very best of luck, and I truly know good things like a job, a place to live with just you and the kiddos, and a judge signed D decree will be in your future soon.

Pulling will all my might for you!

simplydevastated posted 7/30/2014 20:22 PM

Hold your head up high, hon. YOU have nothing to be ashamed of. HE is the turd on the bottom of your shoe.

Oh Gaby. This made me laugh so hard

Thanks SL. I hope all of that comes true soon.

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