I love animals. We have 5 cats and 4 dogs, all rescues. I'm a vegetarian because I'm against the horrific treatment of animals slaughtered for food. I'm not against humane methods, but factory farming is a hell on earth few can comprehend. I mean it when I say I love animals.
So he's on the back porch, bitching up a storm. Every time anything goes wrong, he goes off as if his entire life sucks. I'm not exaggerating. It's July, and one of his bitches that I could hear was about the cold of winter in the northeast. He acts life his life is a nightmare. It's not, at all. Trust me.
So I told him when I hobbled outside to wash the dog that, as far as I was concerned, we were done. I meant it, and mean it. I'm so sick of HIS bitching, If we traded places he wouldn't be able to handle it. I've carried the financial load for us for over a decade. He was a 'stay at home' husband for most of it, because I made a lot of cash. He's only been back to work for a month, and already he's acting like his life is just so damned awful. Well, to that I say 'FUCK YOU!!!'. I've been the adult here for a long time while he vacuumed, did the dishes, took the dogs out, and collected porn. Oh, and he cheated during this as well.
So I discovered his A, and then the porn, and a lot more that I'm not disclosing - and 'laid the smack down', so to speak. He's done a lot better, but still, whenever anything doesn't go exactly as planned, I have to listen to a spoiled brat bitch about how bad his life is. All I ever think is:
Are you fucking kidding me???
So tonight, I said we were done. Hearing him complain about winter was it.
So yeah, I'm just venting here - but damn I've just had it with his bitching!!!
Sorry. Had to throw a bit of an icebreaker at you. Hopefully that made you smile just a bit. I did hear you PP. Your WH is a negative nelly and your rage is justified sister. Embrace it in the moment but don't let that rage, or him, rule you.
yop
like beat the shit out of your drums or something
Hopefully that made you smile just a bit
It made me smile a lot actually. Thank you. I desperately needed that.
[This message edited by painfulpast at 8:17 PM, July 30th (Wednesday)]
My WS is one of the most negative people I know and it gets on my last nerve
Hopefully he's gobsmacked now.
The negativity in general is a marriage killer, even without an A factored in.
OMG yes!!! And now I hear it and think "I dealt with your cheating and I still have to listen to this bullshit????"
I'm so glad someone gets how bad the negativity is, and how much it affects everything! Thank you!!
((Painful Past and stinky doggie)))
[This message edited by Pentup at 8:34 PM, July 30th (Wednesday)]
It will be one of the factors when I file for D.
What exactly did we see in them, even before the A??? Is there some need to punish ourselves?
Obviously my "picker" was broken when I met WS.
He was like this when I met him, his family was as well.
I don't know why I didn't run far and fast a long time ago.
Have you ever done it before? I would be aware of potential hoovering on his part, you know, trying to suck you back in.
[This message edited by imagoodwitch at 9:24 PM, July 30th (Wednesday)]
Honestly, the guy fucks around, leeches off you, and plays himself a violin?
(Are you sure you aren't married to my H?)
Funny what draws the line in the sand, isn't it? Yours has been coming for a long time. maybe t's the love for your pooches that tipped it over.
So, will you join the D/S group?
He apologized, and didn't bitch again all night, and said he was wrong for flipping out, blah blah blah.
He is better at apologizing now, post A. Before he would just justify it, twist it so somehow, it was on me, or that his bitching wasn't that bad, or whatever else he would say. Now he owns it when he's wrong. Doesn't sound like much, but it's a huge difference.
Sleepingbeauty, I remember those days, when nothing I did was right. I still get knots in my stomach thinking back to it. Didn't fold the laundry right? Didn't have the house key ready to go in the lock when I reached the door? Jeans had a wrinkle in them? Didn't buy the right food? You name it, he bitched. Why I stayed back then I don't know.
Sad thing is, the bitching got worse and worse, his self induced misery grew, and I gave up. I used to try and try to make sure everything was ok, but it was never enough. I finally just 'accepted' it was him and stopped trying to fix the world. That's when he cheated. One of the first things he told OW was that I didn't like him. Why - because I've stopped owning your misery? This still pisses me off.
Oh well. That was a long time ago. Things aren't nearly that bad anymore. If they get that bad again, or close to it, I'm walking.
My stbxh never tried to change and instead go worse. His AP is in for a rude awakening.
If I tell him any bad news, niece getting a divorce, brother having a stroke, he gets irritated and asks why am I putting more burdens on him. It was just a point of information, so if he should speak to any of the family he would not be out of the loop.
It has got worse over time, but I have thought that it was due to my infidelity that he was like that. So glad to hear that it happens to be a trait with other husbands.
He'd grab the cheese and the car keys and take it back to the store when I refused to do so.
It's fucking cheese. Get over it asshole!
Don't miss that one little bit.
And I can appreciate the skunk story. I knew someone who had a Newfoundland and St. Bernard mix that got skunked. He appealed to me for help because the thing that worked best was Massengill Douche and he wasn't going to the store to buy it. So I went. I bought all 8 boxes they had in stock. I got odd looks in the checkout line. I can't imagine what kind of looks he would have gotten.
It is very possible that he knows that you do not really mean "it's over" literally. Using that repeatedly could desynthesize him to it – and it will not have the same effect after that.
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
