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When the ones you like don't like you

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Why?? posted 7/30/2014 20:29 PM

and the ones you aren't crazy about like you!? Why? I can't get back into OLD this 2nd time around.

I just wish there would be some mutual attraction/chemistry.

Tried not looking or doing OLD and I only met people who wanted casual sick of this whole process...

better4me posted 7/30/2014 21:28 PM

Reminds me of a toast we used to use in my college days "Here's to the men that we love. And here's to the men who love us. But the men that we love, aren't the men who love us, so the hell with the men, here's to us!"

I currently in my 3rd round (or maybe 4th, heck maybe 14th, I've lost track) of "being back" on OLD. I've updated my profile with specifics about who I am and what I'm looking for rather than a generic "let's meet" kind of profile. My profile reads more "serious" this time around. Being very specific and particular about who I contact seems to have eliminated the casual sex seeking guys(at least so far). Maybe a revamp of your profile would help too?

Sleepingbeauty posted 7/31/2014 06:58 AM

I'm not there yet but how is online dating? I just don't feel the bar scene is for me as I've never been a night owl. I also am oin that age group where the men want younger women at least my stbxh did.

Why?? posted 7/31/2014 16:27 PM

I'm kinda over it so probably not the best person to ask. Longest person I dated was 2 months. Prefer IRL meeting but giving it another shot...sigh

gypsybird87 posted 7/31/2014 18:45 PM

I also am in that age group where the men want younger women

Ditto this and its SO frustrating. Guys my age (40s) want younger women (30s). Guys older than me (50s+) also want younger women (Like me, apparently).

I'm not dating, not even trying to date really. But when I do feel a pull towards someone, it's guaranteed they won't give me a second look. And if someone shows interest in me, they are always much older. A little older is fine, but if you look like my dad, it's not gonna happen.

Linus1968 posted 7/31/2014 19:59 PM

As the first guy, I will chime in...
You gals are not kidding. OLD is crazy. I am 46, and I get a 56 white hair aging girl who sends a flirt. Now, I know that sounds harsh, but is that all I am attracting? I am sure she is a lovely lady, but I am not dating someone that looks like my mom. I am looking for a girl in my age group. I do have to be attracted to her. Believe me, if am NOT looking for Sandra Bullock. Fun, morals, you think adultery is bad, and pretty, let try it. I am not going to settle because I hate to be alone. One girl, we were on a chat. I mentioned I don't do premarital sex, she belittled me. I didn't expect her to understand, but to go off on me. I didn't preach it at all. Just said I don't.

And while I got your attention, what is with it saying 'I am independent' in the profile, yet they want a serious relationship or married. What does that mean? I am not a hat you put on when you feel like it, or it's sunny. "Hi, wanna go do something?" "Sorry, I am feeling independent. FriendZone for you..." Maybe I don't understand the meaning.

One more thing (for this tanjent ride). I see a lot of late 30s/40s who are not married, and they are good looking. Why did you not get married? Crazy? Weird? And, if we dated, how set are you in your ways?
I read a girl say if the guy did not have kids, she would not date him. Well, that is a toss up. I understand her point where she said if you don't have kids, you will not understand what she has to go through to keep the family running. But on the flipside, there could have been medical reasons on him or her, which is not uncommon.

My motto is while dating, I am not going to rush anything, but I am not going to stop it either. It is working good so far.

By the way, I do have a date with a fellow SIer tomorrow night...

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

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