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Newest Member: Sunflower96

Divorce/Separation :
I will not be broken

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 BigMo3516 (original poster member #30487) posted at 3:41 PM on Thursday, July 31st, 2014

Have not spoken to STBXW since separation. She has refused to let me see the kids and is trying to get sole custody. She filed last Thursday and I meet with attorney on Wednesday coming up. Dr called yesterday and my test results came back positive for HSV2. All of my txt request to see the kids and letting her know about the lab have been ignored.

I am focused on what I can control and what I do have in my life. I have an amazing family and friends who have stood by me. I truly believe the divorce is for the best but how she is going about it is so saddening. She is only hurting the kids in her actions and showing the court her lack of maturity. I cannot wait to wake up from this nightmare. All I wanted was for us to be civil and raise our kids. I guess that's where I was a fool. My house hold contained one adult and three children.

"Others often have an awareness of, or question, what we think we have been able to conceal or cover."

posts: 258   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2010
id 6892329
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sunsetslost ( member #39885) posted at 3:49 PM on Thursday, July 31st, 2014

Strength to you Mo. Hang in there.

Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

posts: 800   ·   registered: Jul. 20th, 2013   ·   location: The beach.
id 6892353
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KeepOnMovin ( member #38245) posted at 4:23 PM on Thursday, July 31st, 2014

Hang in there Mo. Sounds like you are doing all the right things.

I truly no longer believe there is such a thing as amicable divorce, especially when infidelity is involved. (First attorney i talked with told me she's never been part of an amicable divorce.)

They change. After the infidelity, you'd think i would be the one being shitty to her, but it is the opposite. All of the anger and ugliness in the process has come from her side of the street.

She doesn't understand why i am NC. She thinks i'm being PA. She doesn't understand why i am not friendly with someone who betrayed me and lied to me over and over. "We need to remain friends for the kids' sake." i think that is bullshit, though. i will be civil, but we are NOT friends. i would be setting a poor example for my boys.

Continue to take the high-road Mo. it is lonely sometimes, but it is better than the other side. At least that's what i keep telling myself.

Me: Creating a better life for myself
Her: Somebody else's problem
Married: 22 years
2 sons at home
1 son in college
Divorced on 9/4/14!
Often it's the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.

posts: 601   ·   registered: Jan. 24th, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 6892418
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 9:03 PM on Thursday, July 31st, 2014

((((BigMo))))

You have an amazing attitude for all that you are being faced with. I hope your attorney can get you access to your kids soon.

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6892886
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 BigMo3516 (original poster member #30487) posted at 10:54 PM on Thursday, July 31st, 2014

Thank you everybody, I'm reminded how helpful and healing it is to be here. After the first year or R when she only seemed regretful and then the 2nd dday, I sunk into my depression. I gave up here and isolated myself. I see now how important it is to share and to post. You are all a big part of everyone's success and it shows.

[This message edited by BigMo3516 at 4:54 PM, July 31st (Thursday)]

"Others often have an awareness of, or question, what we think we have been able to conceal or cover."

posts: 258   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2010
id 6893014
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Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 12:15 AM on Friday, August 1st, 2014

In case it hasn't been said yet, Document Everything. Judges do not like parents that deny visitation to the other parent. Only judges get to do that.

[This message edited by Gemini71 at 6:16 PM, July 31st (Thursday)]

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6893092
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 BigMo3516 (original poster member #30487) posted at 2:43 AM on Friday, August 1st, 2014

Believe me we have been...

"Others often have an awareness of, or question, what we think we have been able to conceal or cover."

posts: 258   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2010
id 6893230
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