The first of two family weddings this month is tomorrow evening. With all sincerity, any good vibes my way are appreciated.
We haven't been able to talk to BIL and AP. I offered to talk with the other BIL and SIL (the ones in the middle). They said we didn't need to talk about anything. The inlaws are not talking people, period.
I have spent a good bit of time with the other BIL & SIL and the inlaws. They mostly act like nothing has happened.
My plans are to not drink, and be ready to retreat if BW is uncomfortable. I am not going to approach BIL & AP. I am going to try to avoid them if they approach me. I will hold BW's hand and be supportive. I will try not to attract any attention to myself at all. I will try to not cast a shadow over anyone's enjoyment of the wedding.
BW told both of her aunts to not seat us with BIL and AP. If someone asks, I am going to shrug and say it's "just one of those things." This family has enough experience with one person not talking to another that I hope it just passes.
I think I need to be, I don't know the right word, but "somber" is the one that comes to mind. I don't want any of BWs family who knows to think that I am treating the wedding like nothing happened. I don't want my FIL to look at me and think that nothing has changed. I know that is going to happen anyway, but I want to do as much as I can to relieve my inlaws.
I hope that BW and BIL can at least look at each other. They have not seen each other since Christmas, which was less than 2 months after DDay. I think BW is willing to talk, but I am pretty sure BIL wants me to get hit by a truck.
Any other practical tips are much appreciated. Saying "don't go" isn't helpful.
The bottom line is that if this evening can come and go, and nothing bad happens, it will be a relief. For the record, we scheduled a MC session on Tuesday.