So I found myself getting ready to fall int old/new habits of burying the issue. New because I used to be an open book to MrH then have t bury things when he didn't respond in ways I hoped or needed. So lately I just don't say anything, share any of myself.
Instead, I'm going to say something but to alleviate putting myself out there I'm going to make a bet with myself. Maybe a point system.
If he "forgot" he told me he'd be fired...50 points.
If he gives a plausible excuse for telling me he'd be fired...25 points.
If he gives a
worthy excuse....10 points.
Maybe have a small reward system for myself based on the points.
If he fesses up to being a selfish asshole even if it was back then, maybe reward him. Take him out to lunch or buy him a small gift.
I dunno, I think it's a pretty safe bet though.
It hurt though. That realization that when he was supposed to tell me everything, he pulled a big CYA. He also didn't tell me that his background investigation had happened during the A. I had to find out out with the most recent BG investigation when I asked if they asked about the A. There was just something that twisted my gut to learn that they discussed the A and what to say to the BG guy.
That yet again, some BG investigator knew more about my M than I did. Because the one just after the 1A knew about the PA when I thought it was an EA. Now I remember him probing about me being sure it was just a flirtation gone too far. Wonder if he was trying to clue me in?
Maybe if I had and questioned further instead of trusting my cheating husband, I wouldn't be here today.