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Ginny posted 7/31/2014 13:53 PM

So, this weekend is FWH's 50th Birthday. I always thought that I would throw him a huge party. I can't. I just can't.

Affair season started last August. My birthday and our 30th anniversary are in the next few weeks. I am just dreading everything.

We are doing the WORK of reconciliation. Despite some painful episodes of TT this past year, I am convinced everything ended last November. FWH is trying to do everything right.

How do I "celebrate" him this weekend? I love him deeply and I know he loves me, too. I just can't think of what to do. I started to write him a "50 Things I Love About You" letter but it just made me bawl. So many things I love about him feel tainted because i knew that is what OW loved about him, too . We were the couple that everyone looked up to!

He came in as I was trying to write that list and found me in tears. I told him why and he just held me and cried, too.

Can someone give me a simple, heartfelt way to celebrate him and the beginning of a new start for us?

FeelingMN posted 7/31/2014 15:05 PM

50 is just a number. Get farther into R and celebrate a prime number like 53. If you don't feel like a big party, maybe a nice quiet date night if that feels ok. Do what makes you feel happy but be up front with WH. Birthday's, Valentine's day, anniversaries, they all feel different for a while and I think its normal to not want to make a big deal out of them.

Ginny posted 7/31/2014 18:07 PM

Thanks. That is helpful to hear.