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Reconciliation :
Fwh's 50th Birthday, A Season

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 Ginny (original poster member #43196) posted at 7:53 PM on Thursday, July 31st, 2014

So, this weekend is FWH's 50th Birthday. I always thought that I would throw him a huge party. I can't. I just can't.

Affair season started last August. My birthday and our 30th anniversary are in the next few weeks. I am just dreading everything.

We are doing the WORK of reconciliation. Despite some painful episodes of TT this past year, I am convinced everything ended last November. FWH is trying to do everything right.

How do I "celebrate" him this weekend? I love him deeply and I know he loves me, too. I just can't think of what to do. I started to write him a "50 Things I Love About You" letter but it just made me bawl. So many things I love about him feel tainted because i knew that is what OW loved about him, too . We were the couple that everyone looked up to!

He came in as I was trying to write that list and found me in tears. I told him why and he just held me and cried, too.

Can someone give me a simple, heartfelt way to celebrate him and the beginning of a new start for us?

BW49
FWH50
DDay 11-02-13
Married 30 years
2 month PA/EA with COW
DS28
Trying to R

posts: 1027   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2014
id 6892781
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FeelingMN ( member #32240) posted at 9:05 PM on Thursday, July 31st, 2014

50 is just a number. Get farther into R and celebrate a prime number like 53. If you don't feel like a big party, maybe a nice quiet date night if that feels ok. Do what makes you feel happy but be up front with WH. Birthday's, Valentine's day, anniversaries, they all feel different for a while and I think its normal to not want to make a big deal out of them.

Me 41
fWW 37
DD(19), DS(17), DD(11) (Mine, hers, ours)
Together 14y, Married 12
DDay Aug 2010, 4 mos TT & gaslighting
ONS + EA after 15yr Class reunion out of state

posts: 270   ·   registered: May. 23rd, 2011   ·   location: Minnesota
id 6892888
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 Ginny (original poster member #43196) posted at 12:07 AM on Friday, August 1st, 2014

Thanks. That is helpful to hear.

BW49
FWH50
DDay 11-02-13
Married 30 years
2 month PA/EA with COW
DS28
Trying to R

posts: 1027   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2014
id 6893083
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