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General :
My heart vs my head

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 dana1234 (original poster member #40952) posted at 11:32 PM on Thursday, July 31st, 2014

I'm never going to get over my husband's affair! But I still love him😞 I feel strongly that the only justice is for him to loose me and the kids?? I have such a war going on inside of me 24/7 and I'm just so tired.....

Me 45 BS
Him 48 WH
Married 20 years, together 25 high school sweethearts
3 Beautiful Children 17,13,13

posts: 175   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2013   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6893048
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million tears ( member #24416) posted at 11:52 PM on Thursday, July 31st, 2014

I felt the same way. I loved my WH but at the same time I wanted to punish him. If your WH is truly remorseful he will punish himself. Maybe try a separation first so you can have breathing room and can decide what you really want.

posts: 1677   ·   registered: Jun. 15th, 2009
id 6893066
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Chinadoll30 ( member #43131) posted at 1:04 AM on Friday, August 1st, 2014

I talk about this war with my therapist a lot. What has helped me is not to focus on what he deserves. We all know what he deserves. A bathtub full of razor blades and full of lemon juice. But me? I deserve happiness. I deserve devotion. I deserve to fulfill my dreams. And currently he's in them. It could change at any time, but it helps me to focus on what I want, not what he deserves.

"We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means 'I survived'." -Chris Cleave

posts: 372   ·   registered: Apr. 16th, 2014   ·   location: Philadelphia
id 6893138
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