Just a quick background; my wife and I are divorcing. We (mostly her) ended it for good early this month. We are separated completely and do not talk anymore (my wishes).
When we were in R she spent the day with OM. We were separated physically still and living in different homes. I had found out because I had been trying to reach her but she was ignoring my calls. I had it in my gut that she was with him. So I drove out to her house and saw his car leaving her driveway. I confronted her and she had told me nothing happened, she invited him along with her friend for the day to "see" if she felt for him. She was convinced I was the right choice.
She explained how he lost his temper, yelled at her, blah blah blah.
I am so mad at myself when I look back. Why the holy hell was I so damn patient with her? It hurts me so much when I look back. I gave her so much love and kindness only to have her toss me aside at the very end of things. She begged me not to go, that it was over with the OM, that he was a horrible mistake and she now knows it. But why did I believe her? Why did I wipe her tears away? I wish I had told her how much of a harmful woman she is, how much of a liar she is, and to get the fuck out of my car and my life. I took her back, believed her, and gave her another chance. Only to have her tell me she doesn't love me weeks later, and to get caught texting the OM again.
I don't UNDERSTAND how a woman can be that manipulative and hurtful! I wish there was some sort of relief from all she has done. I am so sad and hurt by her time and time again. I can't even escape the pain she has caused now that we are COMPLETELY over and I have NC with her at all. She's the worst thing that has ever happened to me. IF there was a way to extinguish the love I have for her I wish I knew how. I am hoping I will move to hatred soon...anything would be better than this deep sadness she has left me with.