We are in R. fwh is actively earning the F. (The former, in FWH.
) after dday1, he was still TTing this far out... And so we were still fighting.
I am angry about dday1, tbh. And that there was a dday2 after ALL that. I am angry that the first 11 years of our relationship was a total sham. And that NOW, after all this, he's the husband I've always wanted. I am angry, because even if he weren't, I have been unable to find work, and would be financially unable to leave, if he were to do this again.
I feel so impotent! Exercise was helping. (I've lost 30 pounds from the elliptical, really long walks and kick boxing... ) but it's not so much anymore. plus if I continue at this level, I will be under 100 pounds again, by Christmas... And I am enjoying being thin again, I am not sure that thin is where I ever want to be again. (I could have worse problems...) i just don't feel control over my own life.