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Razor posted 8/1/2014 11:14 AM

So WW was out for a bit last night and I was left to ramble thru the channels on the tele on my own.

I had seen ads for a show called Satisfaction before. and it looked like triggery crap to me. So when I saw it on the tv listings what did I do? well I watched it of course.

Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. it seems that I will deliberately seek out triggery situations. WHY? is this part of me wanting to still *figure it out*? am I trying to numb myself to things like this? Why do I punish myself this way? I have no fecking idea.

I watched this episode out of context so I have no idea what the overall concept of the program is. It seems to be about a guy who finds that his wife is having a affair. and from what I saw last night he is trying to *nice* her back into loving him.

Her reason for cheating? her BH never listens to her and she isnt satisfied with her life.

At the end of the episode the WW was swimming in her beautiful pool behind her beautiful house and dreaming about her OM. I guess thats the epitome of cake eating. In the preview of the next episode it showed her running back to her OM.

REALLY triggery. NEW BSs. ESPECIALLY BHs AVOID WATCHING THIS PIECE OF CRAP.

It reminded me of a span of maybe 6 or 7 years when (I now know) WWs LTA was a EA and went into it being a PA.

I KNEW something was wrong. I KNEW WW was unhappy. I was unhappy too. I didnt like my job. I was unsatisfied with my life. and I knew my M was in trouble. So I turned TOWARD my WW and did everything in my power to make her happy. I doubled down on everything I was doing. Date night. Weekend trips. Working around the house. Taking care of the kids. I was running myself ragged.

And of course NONE OF THAT WORKED. WW was hell bent for affairville and nothing was going to stop her. In fact she resented my efforts. When I suggested that we do things together I was CONTROLLING and ABUSIVE. When I would buy her a gift I was in her mind trying to buy her affection. (I guess in a sense I was, in that I was trying to win her back)

So just a warning. Dont watch that show.

FrmrBH80124 posted 8/1/2014 11:33 AM

My wife and I refuse to watch this show. The whole premise is just abhorrent to us. I like most of the shows on USA network but not this one.

HFSSC posted 8/1/2014 12:35 PM

We've actually blocked USA network on our Directv now simply because of the ads for that stupid show.

I also wrote a letter of complaint to the network, which has, of course been ignored.

Our boys and I (22 and 15) were watching SVU and then just assaulted with virtually pornographic images when it broke to commercial. No warning, no "graphic or disturbing images ahead" disclaimer. Just...boom, couple having sex against a wall. I posted about it on fb and one of my friends asked how old my kids were that I was okay watching SVU (which is about sex crimes) with them but "afraid for them to see anything about sex". I said first of all, I'm not afraid of them seeing anything about sex, I'm offended by it being blasted on the screen without the opportunity to avoid it. Secondly, while SVU is about sex crimes, it rarely portrays the acts in progress, but rather the aftermath. And it's very clear in decrying sexual violence rather than glorifying it.

After my letter to USA being totally ignored, we made the decision to just block the channel. There's nothing on there that I can't live without.

Razor posted 8/1/2014 12:55 PM

Im triggering pretty bad today because of it. I knew what it was and yet I looked anyway. and I dont really understand WHY.

Maybe its like Pandora's box. If Im told *dont look there* I cant keep myself from looking.

the main characters are in their mid/late 40s it looks like. and the OM said he was 27. I dont know the back story at all. but for some reason the BH met him and wanted all his WWs love letters so he could figure out what she saw in their M that was so wrong that she would have a affair.

The OM had the gall to tell him the he new more about his M that the BH did because he was listening to his WW and BH wasnt doing that.

what a trigger that was. oof. a gut punch.

I wonder if the public thinks this tripe is somehow *romantic*?

I also wonder if a WW would be as triggered as I am by it?

man Im bouncing off the walls today. triggering like mad.

SisterMilkshake posted 8/1/2014 14:01 PM

UGH! I was wondering if anyone here watched that program, Razor. I was disgusted by the commercials and trailers for this show. However, like you, I have had these impulses to watch it. I really liked the lead actor (Matt Passmore from another program "The Glades") I haven't given in, but last night I nearly did. So glad I didn't.

From what I saw and gathered from the promos, the WW paid the OM to have sex with her. Then the BH decided he could make money that way, too. But, I am not sure if that is the premise, that is how it appeared to me.

Anyway, the commercials say the critics say "Sexy!" "Surprising" "Must-See" "Provocative!" "Unpredictable" and this is the one that really gets me, "Charming". Really? Charming?

Razor posted 8/1/2014 14:11 PM

I was confused by some of what the BH was doing because I dont know the back story. this was the first episode I watched (and probably the last).

I didnt see anything about him pimping himself out. but there was a party he went to. he was invited by some blonde lady and he had to wear a carnival style mask. When I was watching it I thought it was some kind of strange work related networking party. The blonde lady said it was about networking. But I dont know what the hell was going on or what she meant by *networking*.

I was triggered by his conversations with the OM. and most especially at the end when his WW was laying in that beautiful pool that her BHs work had paid for. and there she was fantasizing about the OM. and it looks like she is going back to him in the next episode.

man alive. that hurt to watch.

2oldforthis posted 8/1/2014 14:29 PM

It is weird how triggers come sometimes you can see something and it doesn't bother you and then other times, bam, there it is. I think there is a possibility that my 2 neighbors may be having an EA. Lets say at least they have crossed some boundaries. Well the OW's husband died and we went to the funeral, the possible OM gave the eulogy. Well that was just enough for me. I think that very soon it will change, after all she has nothing now to loose.

It has really put me in a bad mood. Also I had a conversation with WS that I question how true it was. All of this has put me over the edge.

Then of course I think that I am just jaded and see things that aren't true.

Saw the commercial for that show and I thought OMG what the hell is next.

I already question my sanity

Peace

[This message edited by 2oldforthis at 2:31 PM, August 1st (Friday)]

nowiknow23 posted 8/1/2014 14:57 PM

Don't know anything about the show.

Razor - I think it would be good to continue asking yourself why you seek these triggery things. The possible reasons are myriad - Self punishment? Unhappiness with your decision to stay? Subconscious thoughts that your WW is up to something again? Trying to understand her past actions? And a hundred other possibilities. We can't tell you - it's your puzzle to figure out.

But it sure seems like you are trying to tell yourself something. Pay attention to that. Soak on it.

((((hugs))))

Itstoohard posted 8/1/2014 14:59 PM

So what can be said for my WH who has been watching the episodes. I first thought I wanted to because of the guy who stars in it. I liked Glades. But when I listened to the commercial and then a couple trailers I said no thanks. We are in separate rooms now, so he asked me if I watched it. I said no, I didn't like the content. Apparently he does. Why oh why???

10yearsafter posted 8/1/2014 15:31 PM

I watched it. Why did I do that. The first episode was sad and depressing. Infidelity is on every tv show in every movie it's just everywhere.

Anyway FWW and I watched it again the next 2 episodes.WTF!

painfulpast posted 8/1/2014 16:07 PM

I see this commercial constantly because I watch Suits on USA. It's awful. Even the title is bad and triggery. I guess we should all do whatever we want for satisfaction?

I love Suits. One of the main characters - a very charismatic and highly successful NYC attorney hates, and I mean hates, infidelity. His mother apparently cheated on, and then left, his father, and he despises cheating, cheaters, all of it. In the first or second season, he sees someone he knows and has had an on-again, off-again relationship with. She's in from London. They have sex - lots of it. She then admits she's engaged. He is pissed!!! Not that she's engaged, but that he just helped someone cheat. I love this character!

Unfortunately I have to suffer through these horrible commercials for the 'cheat if you want to' show. That has been awful. I'm now DVRing Suits so I can skip the commercials.

Razor posted 8/1/2014 17:11 PM

Razor - I think it would be good to continue asking yourself why you seek these triggery things. The possible reasons are myriad - Self punishment? Unhappiness with your decision to stay? Subconscious thoughts that your WW is up to something again? Trying to understand her past actions? And a hundred other possibilities. We can't tell you - it's your puzzle to figure out.

But it sure seems like you are trying to tell yourself something. Pay attention to that. Soak on it.

I agree that this is something important for me to look into myself about. Off the top of my head I think it could be a couple of things (probably more than a couple):

* it could be about this is not going to have power over me. not quite reclaiming but toughening the scar.

* it could also be about not understanding what and how the LTA happened. I think this is hard for allot of us BSs. We didnt cheat. We were in the same M. We tried to make it better instead of finding solace on the side. Why didnt that work? If it was M problems as so many (new) WS say. then why didnt my working on the M stop the affair?

* then there is the whole mystery of why a WS can tell some stranger things that they will not tell their BS?

* and compartmentalization. what is that? and how does it work? How could someone say they love you. sleep with you. eat with you. laugh with you. raise children with you. discuss child problems with you. and yet go out and have sex with someone else? or have intimate conversations with someone else? Maybe this will always be a mystery unless you have been a WS?

So what can be said for my WH who has been watching the episodes?

I have no idea. Do things like this even trigger a WS? do the feelings WS have when they do trigger even remotely resemble what we feel when we trigger?

Its that compartmentalization thing. How could a WS watch that show and not some how relate to what is going on? Maybe they are relating?

Some days I feel as dumb as a stone.

hopefull77 posted 8/1/2014 17:33 PM

We watch HGTV....it is our go to station!!!
skip all the crap on most cable stations....