Member # 43976
| Posted: 1:36 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014|
I'm 18 months from the last DD. I got months of TT and even new lies. She resisted IT until a month ago. The thing is, I have so much information after reading 200 of their emails that there are still things that don't add up. There are also other things I have asked her to explain such as how her perception of reality could be so skewed on several facts, but she won't talk anymore. She refused a NC letter from the begining by coming up with excuses that are not valid, The total apology I have gotten is "I apologize for the things I've done, I apologize for lying to you". I am not satisfied with any of that and have told her over and over. I confessed and I gave a long detailed apology letter to her for the things that I have done (she would have never found out), answered every question she has asked, imediately and without any TT, lies or distortions. I have done that because that is what I feel is the right thing to do. If I believe that is the right thing for me to do and I have done that, why would she think that I do not expect that from her? Is it time to consider a 180, or time to just move on, this is exhausting! She is a HUGE rug sweeper and has NEVER confessed to anything, she's only been caught.
ME: 55 Madhatter, 1 short term PA (kissing only)
WW: 52 Madhatter, 25 year PA (off and on, same OM) 7 year EA, first boyfriend
Married: 33 years, 1981
My DD#1 6/1988, DD#2,3,4,5 1/30/2013
Her DD 3/2013
Posts: 40 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Ohio
Member # 34353
| Posted: 5:19 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014|
so she is showing you who she is and just what you mean to her. Believe her. She sounds like she isn't interested in doing any work towards R so why are you still with her?
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile
Posts: 1694 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
Member # 29048
| Posted: 10:08 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014|
Um. Excuse me. She has been in an A for your entire marriage of 32 years? And, this is the best she can do? I'm in awe that you are considering R. Yes it's time to move on. She is beyond toxic.
Posts: 458 | Registered: Jul 2010
Member # 42581
| Posted: 10:18 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014|
She's not interested in healing you or your marriage. That's pretty much all you need to know.
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years
Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson
Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.
Posts: 3272 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States