AmSoDone, I really understand that feeling of wanting to help our kids. The day after D-Day, WH went skiing. Both kids are far away (of course, he waited till they were back at school to drop the bomb). Both kids were texting me for help with their own situations. I knew I couldn't fake it. A friend of mine found WH on the ski slope and told him to call me ASAP. When he finally did, a few hours later, I insisted he come home -- we needed to tell the kids together. My friend stood there and made sure he left the ski area.
So we call Oldest Child (22, in grad school), I prompt WH to tell the story on speaker phone. I didn't want him spinning the story to the kids -- wanted both of us to hear each other. Oldest Child unleashed holy hell on his head. Then broke down. While I was soothing her on the phone, making sure that there was someone who could come sit with her, I looked over and saw WH in the fetal position with arms locked over his head, shaking on the floor. That was six months ago. He has tried to reach that child ONCE since then. Says he's afraid she won't pick up the phone.
She feels utterly rejected, abandoned. She is fearful of him. While doing a research fellowship at a big museum this summer, she has befriended the security guards because she is fearful that WH will show up.
Nope. WH doesn't really care. It's all about him and the OW, love of his life and her kids. And WH really told the kids that this LT affair/leaving me was "the right thing to do" and that they "should be happy for him."
Yep. I was sitting right next to him.
I have been telling my kids about the 180. They feel betrayed too.
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Me BS, 56
Him WH, hopefully STBXWH, almost 51
married 24 years, will be 25 years on 8/5/2014
Two brilliant, fantastic grown children 23 and 20
D-Day 1/31/2014
D filed 4/23/2014