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Newest Member: WishingINeverLooked

Divorce/Separation :
NC - need to stay strong!

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 cantaccept (original poster member #37451) posted at 12:50 AM on Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

Just received an email

"I will miss many things about you but I won't miss your lies"

I so want to respond, I am fighting myself to not respond. So here are my choices that I will not say to him.

1. At least you have something to miss

2. Yes, I lied, I lied about my girlfriends, I lied about my past, I lied about my drug use, I lied about who I am inside, I lied about trying to R with you, I lied in MC, I lied in IC, well no, that was you not me

3. I will not miss you at all, there is nothing to miss.

4. Cheaters handbook, blameshifting, easing your guilt by creating faults in your betrayed spouse, helps you look in the mirror.

I will not send any of these but damn do I want to!

I guess I didn't have to wait long for the shift, here it comes and if he is drinking look out! He can be corrosive.

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 6894662
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nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 12:53 AM on Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

Nope. You are correct, Crickets to that bait. Even though it smells really good!

But no.

You forgot my favorite.

1. Fuck off.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6894668
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 cantaccept (original poster member #37451) posted at 12:55 AM on Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

Thank you Nekorb, you made me laugh!

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 6894670
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 cantaccept (original poster member #37451) posted at 1:01 AM on Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

In a kind of sick twisted way, I almost wish he would keep them coming, just for tonight.

It helps me to remember all those nights when he called me names, attacked my character, it validates my thoughts and feelings, as if I need more validation!

It just reminds me of who he really is under the mask of "kindness". It really is a mask, he is not kind, he is not nice, only when there are witnesses. This man, if you could call him that, fucked with my mind, fucked with my heart.

Last week he sent me a text, "I hope that you suffer as much for the pain that you caused me as I suffer".

Holy shit! That is remorse at it's finest!!! In the twilight zone.

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 6894676
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 cantaccept (original poster member #37451) posted at 2:26 AM on Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

I texted my best friend about the email, I love this man, I have known him since I was 11. To have a friend for that many years is such a gift, he knows me and I know him. I really do have so much to be grateful for.

His reply to me, "He just wants to bug you. Ignore him. He is evil. You are GOOD!!!You are kind. You are thoughtful, you are loving. You create order and beauty around you. You make me happy whenever I think of you. You share. You care.

I could go on but I am walking the dog. Ignore that sick person. He still wants to hurt you.

Those are words from a friend, someone that has known me my whole life, my good and my bad. Those are words from a friend that loves me.

That is what I need in my life, people like him, that is what we all need in our lives.

This is what I wish for everyone here, a friend that loves you and can support you, a friend that knows you and can remind you of how fucking awesome you really are. A friend to help keep you strong.

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 6894751
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GotPlayed ( member #41294) posted at 2:57 AM on Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

It's the dog nipping at your heels one last time because he knows it's almost over.

You can set up a rule on your email system to delete his messages, or mark them read and file then somewhere. That way you only get the emails when you choose to see them (though if there's no kids or finances to discuss, might as well auto delete them).

Your friend is right. You deserve peace. You don't have to put up with harassment

Home stretch.

Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
XBH and healing. D final March 2016
Her: Doesn't matter anymore.
DS13 Severe SN. DD11 Awesome

posts: 1012   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2013   ·   location: California
id 6894777
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