SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

kellyAnn65 posted 8/1/2014 20:31 PM

It is strange.....as long as I say NOTHING about the other woman or the affair we live the perfect life....he has agreed to only see her 1 weekend a month but he emails n calls her several times a day...i feel so used here ... If i say nothing about the ow then he is all kissy n huggy and acting like we are the perfect couple. But mention the affair or the ow and i get the well then get a divorce speech...i just had fake sex just to keep him happy 😥 i have to stay in this sham of a marriage because of my 2 year old grandson he lives with us and with me not being able to work we would be broke so here i am in love with a man who has a gf and hating my life

outtanowhere posted 8/1/2014 21:00 PM

It may seem that you are painted into a corner but, you do have options. You just have to be determined to find your way out. There's no justification for staying in this kind of relationship. You are obviously distressed about the situation or you wouldn't be here looking for help

I know you feel trapped but, this is no way to live and, it's an awful example to your grandson to learn about relationships. It will most likely mean some uncomfortable changes will have to take place but, you don't have to put up with this. Go see a lawyers ASAP and tell him what is going on. This is out and out emotional abuse.

Not to mention the obvious issues but, you are allowing him to play Russian roulette with your health. You could potentially end up with a STD. Some are not curable.

You are being used and you are the only one who can put a stop to it.

nekorb posted 8/1/2014 21:43 PM

(((Kelly)))

he has agreed to only see her 1 weekend a month but he emails n calls her several times a day

Are you fucking kidding me?

NO.

Kelly, NO.

Do you see what you just wrote? your husband has outlined for you the affair that he is going to continue to have and you've agreed to some parameters within which it can occur.

You need to get out of this situation.

No more sex.

And NO, you do not have to stay in this relationship because of your grandson. Your WH is going to have to support you in some fashion.

You need an attorney. Yesterday. If you don't have the resources, call a local domestic violence shelter and ask them for help and suggestions.

Do not take this abuse or disrespect for another minute. You feel used because you are being used.

Only you can stop it.

You can do it.

We are here to support you.

Take control, Kelly.

P.s. It's not "strange",i t's straight from the unremorseful cheater's handbook. They all do it.

[This message edited by nekorb at 9:44 PM, August 1st (Friday)]

cantgetup posted 8/2/2014 04:16 AM

I've read all if your other posts and they are all like this one. People are trying to help you but your response is always you can't leave due to health and grandson. While you do have options that you don't think you do, until you gain enough strength to accept that, you have to 180 this guy. In house separation. It's one thing for him to flaunt his affair in your face. It's quite another for you to continue being his loving wife as he does so. He doesn't love you. He isn't being huggy and kissy to you. He is using you. He's preying on your weakness. He's a sociopath. Keep working on that strength you need to get out. This will end badly if you don't.

krsplat posted 8/2/2014 08:48 AM

You HAVE to get out of there, KellyAnn. I know you think you can't, but if you don't, his continuing A is going to eat away at you until there is nothing left of you. If you die of stress (or a broken heart), where will your grandson be then?

Talk to a lawyer. Find out what your options are. You are entitled to financial support, and will not be left destitute. Nekorb says it well.

Please take action to save yourself.

nekorb posted 8/2/2014 09:12 AM

his continuing A is going to eat away at you until there is nothing left of you. If you die of stress (or a broken heart), where will your grandson be then?

Please read that repeatedly until it sinks in.

Kelly, your husband is *counting on* your fear to keep you exactly where you are.

You deserve more than this and so does your grandson. Only you can make it happen.

We get that it is scary, we've all been there in some form. When you take that first step that says to him, "fuck you!", you will start to feel a little bit of strength.

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

Do you have a counselor available to you? At Church? Local shelter? Do you have family or friends to help?

This is not ok, KellyAnn. Don't let him convince you it is or allow it to go on.

Badhurt posted 8/2/2014 15:37 PM

Kelly Ann

Have not read all your other threads but one thing you should do is make sure he only has one week end of sex per month.
None from you .

You need to get out of there