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devastated again, when will I give up???

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shatteredheart12 posted 8/1/2014 20:45 PM

Just found out that WH and OW are in my area, WH's brother and sil are home for a visit, brother got the family home when their dad passed away in 2009 although the mom always said it was WH's house, she died first (this may have triggered WH's poor decisions over the past 3 years)

But to know that he is that close to me and with her, it breaks my heart over again. That was our home, our kids first home, made our first memories as a family. And now he is out there with her. Spending time with what used to be my family. But now me and our children have been replaced, by WH and by his brother and sil, having friends and family out there spending time together while dd and I are here, struggling financial, trying to figure out why we no longer matter to him.

Sorry for rambling, I am a mess of emotions tonight, how can he continue to hurt me like this, a woman he says he loves, a family he says he doesnt want to lose. Is it horrible of me to wish he had died back in 2009, there was a horrible accident that, if it had happened 24 hours later, I would have been a widow. (This is another thing I think has affected him, and his choices)

I want to be over him, I want to get on with my life but it is stuff like this that pulls me down. I hate it

nekorb posted 8/1/2014 21:48 PM

Oh ugh. I'm so sorry. (((Shattered)))

I also don't understand how a man can just stop caring for his wife or his kids.

I'm hoping someday to achieve that indifference toward my WH that I keep hearing about from the others here.

It's just so hurtful, and there doesn't seem to be a logical reason, and the lies, and betrayal, and the double life.....

I get it. I'm sorry. Try and keep busy tonight. You know?

BlueBlueEyes posted 8/1/2014 22:59 PM

I'm still with mine but not sure for how long. I'm really frustrated that I can't let some things go. I don't know how to stop the pain caused by a wh. I'm not sure how to get "me" back. I'm sorry you are hurting.

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