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Newest Member: thepainfull86 (61156)

User Topic: Anniversary
♀ 41741
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wedding anniversary is Saturday. Not sure how I feel about that. We have mentioned it, and he asked if he can acknowledge it. I don't know.

Me FBS around 40
Him FWS early 40s (lovemywife4ever)
He cheated before M, forgot to tell me
"Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last" - MLK Jr

Posts: 2206 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Midwest
♀ 43949
Member # 43949
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dday was two weeks shy of my 30th. I made him plan everything and set my conditions. I ended up really enjoying that time and it was a great rebonding experience. There's always the work and back to reality after. IMO this is something you need to decide depending on where you want to go from here. Doesn't it suck to have such a cloud over times that you deserve to celebrate?

BW - 49
WH - 50
Married 30 years
Beautiful Son, Daughter and 2 Grandsons.

OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.

Hopeful but cautious

Posts: 194 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Texas
♀ 43242
Member # 43242
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My 23rd anniversary was 7 weeks after DDay. We had a long-planned dinner and theater date, and went through with it because we had already spent the $$. It was hideous, and I cried alot.

If you decide to acknowledge it, do something low key that you can leave in a hurry if need be.

Me & WH: 50, married 20+ years, 4 kids
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus multiple ONS
Conclusion: Some things are too broken to be fixed.

Posts: 778 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Virginia
♀ 43959
Member # 43959
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dday was 3 months before our 26th anniversary. I told WH a present was important this year (even told him which ring would make a lovely anniversary gift.) But we exchanged gifts a few days before the day because I was afraid the day itself would be horrid. So the day was ordinary and we went to MC in the evening. It was what I needed.

Me-BS 53
Him-WS 53 Sorrowfulmate
Married 27 years, 5 kids
Dday #1 12/12 He made up a ONS
Dday #2. 3/14 EAs, 3 ONS, 2 LTA

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

Posts: 488 | Registered: Jul 2014
♀ 24719
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ours is next week. I think that may be why I am having a resurgence of anger and stuff. Not sure.

Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"

Posts: 2303 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Kentucky
♀ 43041
Member # 43041
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our 2 year anniversary was just shy of 3 months after dday, he'd already taken our 10 year anniversary of meeting and flushed it down the toilet. It was difficult. He planned everything while getting my ok, he booked a hotel room in a major city near us for the night before and we went to a stage show the day before as well. So the day before and that night were pretty good. He had organised a special bath in our room, candles and food on arrival. It was very thoughtful. On the actual day we went to a movie and I found the actual day fairly difficult. He handed me a card when we got home that basically reiterated his promises. Some advice our mc's gave us the week before, was to pick 2 days in the following 2 weeks in which we put the affair aside and acted how we wanted to act in our marriage in the future. So no affair talk and really reaching down to the kind of partner we wanted to be. We weren't to share what day we did this with the other. Anyway I chose the day before our anniversary and it was mostly really freeing to let the affair go for the day and try and see us as a couple having moved past most of the hurt and pain of the affair. Like a quick snapshot of what the future might hold for us. It helped and is part of the reason I am still here. But admittedly, I couldn't choose our actual anniversary for that.


Me: BS 34 WH: 32 (theseseatsRtaken)
DS1: 3 DS2: 1 DS3: 2 months
T 13 years, M 5
DD1: 8/1/2014 DD2: 10/1/2014
"Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you!" H. Jackson Brown

Posts: 771 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
♀ 43280
Member # 43280
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My 18 year anniversary is next month and I've had mixed feelings about it. My husband wants to celebrate it since we are still married, living together, and trying to R. I'm so angry because our last anniversary was during the A. We went out to watch a football game at a bar with another couple. (He didn't want to do anything romantic.) The phone records show that he called OW four times that day/night. She was pissed that he took me out at all, so I'm sure he was ass kissing.

Anyway, I'm trying to move past it. Why should my anniversary be miserable because of OW? This may be a good opportunity for intimacy and to put things aside for a day. For me, the ideal situation would be for us to go out of town that night. I so want out of this damn town anyway.

BW: 42 (me)
WH: 45 (him)
Married 20 years
3 kids
D-Day: 4/7/14, 11 month LTA
Together- trying to R

Posts: 151 | Registered: Apr 2014
♀ 43059
Member # 43059
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our 20th was last week. The days leading up were a bit anxiety producing for me. He had our video put into DVD and wanted to watch it. I did not. We were going to go away together and while that would have been nice I changed it to a family trip which was probably better. On our anniversary we did sneak away for a nice dinner and took a long walk. We have great talks during out walks. Included apt if discussion about the A, but it was good discussion. Clear the air kind if stuff. We also discussed the past 20 years and things we have done well as well as regrets. Great conversations really although painful sometimes. Lots if apologies and promises for the future by WH. I think taking the pressure off of it was good for us. I do want to do a trip this fall instead. When they pressure of 20th anniversary isn't there...

BW Me (40ish)
WH Him (40ish)
Kids ages 10-20
Married 20 years
OW 27- passed away 2/4/15 from cervical cancer
DDay 4/3/14- 6 month EA - Yes, I know he could be lying and will continue to be checked just in case.
They were "in love" & sexting

Posts: 554 | Registered: Apr 2014
Topic Posts: 8

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