BW dropped an absolute gem on me tonight and just wanted to share.
I was expressing my frustration with the fact that now that I come forward with thoughts and feelings and memories regarding the affair that i would previously have hidden or lied about (ie: im open and honest now), it sometimes drops BW into a triggered, sad and/or hurt state.
She said this:
"You have to realise that its not the truth that does this, its the lies".
Sounds like common sense i guess, but really got to me. I always find it so easy to get angry internally every time i come forward with a truth that i never would have before, and it turns a good day into a bad day in an instant. This very basic statement really helps me deal with that more effectively, and gives me greater confidence to keep doing it, even when its going to hurt.
Because the truth is the only thing offering me a way back into this marriage. The lies are the door I left through in the first place.