Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Ladyblue61 (61463)

User Topic: A quote from a wise BS to help us all!
♂ 43088
Member # 43088
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BW dropped an absolute gem on me tonight and just wanted to share.

I was expressing my frustration with the fact that now that I come forward with thoughts and feelings and memories regarding the affair that i would previously have hidden or lied about (ie: im open and honest now), it sometimes drops BW into a triggered, sad and/or hurt state.

She said this:

"You have to realise that its not the truth that does this, its the lies".

Sounds like common sense i guess, but really got to me. I always find it so easy to get angry internally every time i come forward with a truth that i never would have before, and it turns a good day into a bad day in an instant. This very basic statement really helps me deal with that more effectively, and gives me greater confidence to keep doing it, even when its going to hurt.

Because the truth is the only thing offering me a way back into this marriage. The lies are the door I left through in the first place.

Me: WH 32
Her: BW 34 (RomanticInnocenc)
DS1: 3 DS2: 2 DS3: 5 Months
DDay#1 08/Jan/14 DDay#2 10/Jan/14
PM's with men only pls.
Love is a choice. You dont fall into love. You step into it willingly.

Posts: 395 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
♀ 40654
Member # 40654
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The most difficult lies for me to recognize are the ones I've told myself.

Him: BH 1969
Me: WW 1973

Wedding: April 9, 1994

Son: 1998 (college freshman)
Son: 2002 (high school freshman)

Caught at AP's house: 10 Aug 2012

I do not have it all together.

Posts: 862 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Far, far away
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's it, in a nutshell. It's the lies, that cause the wounds. Not telling the truth, but hiding the lies. And continuing to lie TO hide the lies.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10034 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 43024
Member # 43024
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good post! It's also the Omission of truth that can hurt. WS can't just tell "part" of the truth & think it's ok! I think most BS aquire a 6th sense that tells us "There's still more to this story".

2 DS:2 D Grandchildren
"Life is a journey, travel with Care "...Me 🙈🙉🙊"Life is not a dress rehearsal, make the ONE you have count"....Me

Posts: 1073 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Never Neverland
♂ 43618
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My BS tells me all the time. The actions are bad. But it is the lies and deceit that destroy the M

A wound can be stitched shut, but it decides when it will heal on its own.

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women

Posts: 1183 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.