Well we're finally done. It's all over!
We lasted three sessions (and most of them were not IMAGO) but as you have all rightly said unless your WS is remorseful and fully commits to NC then the best MC in the world isn't going to be able to save the marriage.
Ironically I had access to WW phone records so I could see she was still texting him despite having made an undertaking in our initial session to go NC. (to be fair how realistic was it to expect her to keep to that!)
Our counsellor was fantastic in that she quickly understood where I was at and managed to get WW to come clean and confirm there was no hope for our marriage without us having to go through 12 weeks of expensive IMAGO therapy. I couldn't understand why WW had been unable to tell me that straight, preferring instead to send me mixed messages (cake eating?). WW even acknowledged that she understood that by not telling me she was simply keeping me hanging on and was ultimately extending my grieving.
I'm dearly hoping the D process will be amicable. Last night's counselling session ended up being an opportunity for us to voice our appreciation for each other over the years and say our 'goodbyes'. I'm in tears typing this.
'If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion'.
What little IMAGO work we did do was really useful and I'd recommend it to couples who both genuinely want to try to heal their marriage and regain that lost connection.
Thank you all for your input and advice.