Personally I'd see it as insulting too but why not say you thought about it and he's right. Then tell him to be sure to be home in time for your appointments. Turn those lemons into lemonade. You certainly deserve some time for yourself and some pampering.
If he means, "start losing some weight so you look better for ME, so you can please ME in bed and look the way *i* want you to." Then I'd say he's a complete asshole.
If he means, "This has been really hard on you. Take some time to do something for yourself. I will watch the kids. I want you to feel good about yourself again. I want you to be happy.". Then he gets brownie points.
Only you know what his other words and actions are telling you as well..
That's more or less what WW would to do me, with "you have too much work, go ahead and relax this weekend, I'm going to XXX place to hike". That half of it was true. Who she was hiking with and what she was doing was what she was hiding. Once she even took the kids, to "help me". And my kids met OM.
So do pamper yourself, but please watch out. As others have said, see his entire behavior. Does he still attempt to hide stuff? And so on.
The X started making suggestions to me about making changes in my appearance, saying that I'd look great with highlights in my hair, I should wear a certain type of clothing, I should get my nails done, I should change my personal grooming (brazilian waxing), etc. I was always the low maintenance type-didn't like to fuss-but I appreciated his renewed interest in me.
Little did I know he was making me over in the image of the OW; it was horrifying when I realized what was going on. If I were you, I'd try to ferret out his motivation for suggesting these changes.
In the end, I do now take more interest in my appearance, but I do it for myself. I buy good makeup and get my toes done. I get massages. But I do it for me, not for anyone else.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
If he wants you to totally change for him, that's not a good thing. Looking nicely groomed can boost your confidence, and if your clothes are hanging on you now, he owes you a new wardrobe, so don't feel guilty spending money on yourself. It won't fix your marriage, but it can help your attitude a little.
Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.
This man wouldn't even think of saying that to you.
I'd look to my own 'imperfections' first & suggest 'taking better care of ourselves' - as a team.
The way it reads sounds insensitive and a bit manipulative imo.
He's had 2 A's with 2 different OW's?
What's he doing to take "better care" of his impoverished morals?
You have better patience than I.
That would make me want to rip a unicorn's horn off.
[This message edited by heartbrokeninaz at 12:43 PM, August 2nd (Saturday)]