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Newest Member: RisingAbovePain (61843)

User Topic: Delayed Triggering?
♀ 41074
Member # 41074
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has anyone experienced delayed triggering? I found out in October of 2013 that my spouse was cheating. I also found out that he and the OW had been going to hourly rate hotels around the city we lived in. In December of 2013, I was doing training for a new job and we had training sessions at a local hotel. I was totally fine. Npw, suddenly I'm having aversions to hotels, motels and the like and just looking at one makes me feel anxious. Someone suggested I was going through delayed triggering, but I've never heard of it. Anyone?

D-Day: Oct. 1, 2013

Together 15 years, married 7, 1 child, age 7.

WH: 37 y.o., EA/PA since March
OW: 26, 1 child (not WH's)
Me: 34, BS
Separated Nov. 16, 2013

Does a wedding anniversary still count if you are separated?

Posts: 82 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ 32657
Member # 32657
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I'm so sorry you're feeling anxious, hun!
To answer your question, absolutely! We can trigger long after the initial DDay. I'm 4 yrs out from my last DDay and had thought I was pretty much healed. Not completely, but I was happy. All of a sudden, last April, I began triggering hard. Over the last couple yrs, I would still trigger, but it wouldn't bring me to my knees in tears. But for some reason (maybe being pregnant this year) I felt like my healing went backwards. FWH and I dealt with it and are now back on track... For now. It can always come back when we least expect it tho. And it's all normal. We just have to work hard to get through it in one piece.

"The beauty of your life being burned down to the ground is that you can rebuild it any f*cking way you want!"
BW: Me 37yrs WH: 32yrs
Multiple DDays. Lots of TT & lies. Last DDay: 02/07/2015
Tgthr 15yrs, Married 12yrs, in R
4 sons

Posts: 305 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Sunny So. Cal.
♀ 38817
Member # 38817
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I definitely think it's possible. After all, the first stage of grief is denial/shock, right? I was very numb in the first few weeks and months after DDay. I went many places that later, after I started processing things, became huge triggers for me. Most of them still are, but I never really had a personal attachment to them so I'm ok with avoiding them. But at any rate, yes I think a delay in triggers can be pretty normal.

BW (me): 31
WH (him): 32
2 DD's 9 & 6. DS born 8/2015
"Every decision you make indicates what you believe you are worth."

Posts: 148 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: North Carolina
Topic Posts: 3

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