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Monster--the *gift* that just keeps on giving....

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gonnabe2016 posted 8/2/2014 21:12 PM

So today is his birthday and it's turned out to STILL be really, really triggery for me. HIS birthday bothers ME!

6/08 -- dday. *Flirty* emails found. Reason given was because I was so *busy* with kids/charity events.
8/08 -- I arrange a *surprise* vow renewal ceremony on HIS birthday in order to convey my commitment to him. He is OVER THE MOON with my *gift* to him. Until he finds out that Rugsweeping was NOT a part of the vow renewal ceremony.

8/11 -- Life in the Gonna household is not so great because Gonna now knows that she's dealing with an unremorseful serial-cheater who is NOT making any progress on the *fix the marriage to become a safe person* front. MIL is visiting for his b-day. Monster is at football practice with my youngest and I am in the office printing checks that he HAS to hand out to people the next day. DS comes to the office door:
DS: Do you have a cake for dad?
Me: No.
DS: Are you going to make one?
Me: No.
DS: Well, do you care if me and Gma go and get him a cake?
Me: No. That would be great.
They go and get a cake. Monster comes home. MIL thinks that it's a good decision to tell him that I didn't *bother* to get him a cake for his b-day.

Gonna and Monster get into a heated discussion later because his mom is a bitch and he would rather believe *her* version over mine -- I was going to go and pick up a cake after I was done with the checks because no one's birthday goes unacknowledged in my household.

I told MIL off the next morning for being a passive aggressive witch and I don't think she appreciated it much. Tough shit. I was a really good wife to her son and all she wanted to do was cause trouble -- and since Monster's always looking for *trouble* to attribute to me, it didn't take much for her to stir the pot.

And now....to top all of his shenanigans off, he's apparently decided that enough time has passed that he can *legitimately* start fucking with the money without looking like a douchebag.

Remind me again....divorce is a *real* thing, right????? It really happens for people???

5454real posted 8/2/2014 21:26 PM

he's apparently decided that enough time has passed that he can *legitimately* start fucking with the money

Your lawyers going to *love* that!

It does happen gonna. Sending strength to help you get through.

deena posted 8/2/2014 23:13 PM

Sending you list of Hugs and Strength

And TONS of patience

One thing I don't understand how he can get mad at you for not getting him a cake!? Why should you!? How can he even expect it!?
Let mommy spoil the boy more. Your tine is done!?

ChoosingHope posted 8/3/2014 00:11 AM

And now....to top all of his shenanigans off, he's apparently decided that enough time has passed that he can *legitimately* start fucking with the money without looking like a douchebag.

I'm sure you can make sure the truth is told and he still looks like a douchbag!

Your post makes me remember how EX ruined every single birthday, vacation, and holiday for years.

((((((HUGS))))))

determinata posted 8/3/2014 05:45 AM

(Hug)
Can you make the day about you somehow? Do something fun? Buy yourself something? Take back the day.

ButterflyGirl posted 8/3/2014 12:26 PM

One thing I don't understand how he can get mad at you for not getting him a cake!?

This motherfucker literally wanted his cake too

gonnabe2016 posted 8/3/2014 17:46 PM

Your lawyers going to *love* that!
I think my L's as sick of dealing with him as I am.

I'm sure you can make sure the truth is told and he still looks like a douchbag!
No can do -- he and I no longer travel in the same family/social circles.


Can you make the day about you somehow?
I've found that distracting myself just doesn't work. It's really odd -- some significant dates have a lead-up *anxious* feeling, then it's "be a slug on *that* day", and then the next day I'm absolutely fine and back to normal. I just roll with it.

Do something fun?
I could have done something fun if I hadn't been stuck at the house all afternoon waiting for the cable guy because.....the installation appointment that had been scheduled for the day before (Friday) had been *mysteriously* cancelled....<not pointing any fingers, just sayin'.>
So thank you, Deena, for the patience.


This motherfucker literally wanted his cake too
Omg. I canNOT believe that I have never, ever thought of it that way!....guess I was always too busy being angry/defensive about it.
I like your *take* on it much better, BG. Thanks for the laugh.

[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 6:10 PM, August 3rd (Sunday)]

peridot posted 8/3/2014 17:55 PM

This motherfucker literally wanted his cake too

Kajem posted 8/4/2014 08:26 AM

(((((((gonna))))))))

In the long run, it's better to slug thru the day feeling whatever you feel vs distracting yourself and stuffing the feelings.

You will show the court his true duocheness and they will see it.

Most divorced are a marathon, yours is the ironman.

It will be over...it will be over.... It will be over.

Will you throw a huge party when it's over?

K

tesla posted 8/4/2014 09:05 AM

Yes, please...throw a huge party when this bullshit is over.

I'll bring YOU the cake!!!!

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