Nothing triggered this specifically today but it's been coming for a while. I looked back over my posts and I started with a panic attack about a month ago and I've been hold on by a thread ever since. All the contact, NC, DD issues, THAT text message etc. have taken their toll and I'm a blubbering mess.
So much for my vow never to shed another tear over this man. (He promised he would never make me cry again )
I know I can't change anything. I told my DD that it would take a MAJOR event, i.e. him saying that he was going to a monastery in Tibet to find himself before I would even entertain the thought of 'us' again. So what is my problem?
Help me here, what should I be doing to get past this?
We can't get past it just because we want to, unfortunately. Meditation, exercise, relying on bonds with friends and family, time, investing in our own interest and future, IC, reading books on healing all help; but crying the tears helps too, even when we don't want to honor them with anymore of our emotional energy. Think of the tears as being not because of him but for your own benefit--a way of cleansing yourself. The cure for the pain, is the pain.
It sucks.
You'll be better for it on the other side.
(((Hugs)))
Then came the OW revelation and it has blown all my thinking out of the water. That has changed everything.
I too, am having problems sleeping. Too much is swirling around in your head right now. In a way I can't wait to go back to work in the fall as I think my mind will be preoccupied and kept busy with other things. Unfortunately, right now, I have a lot of free time. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things that I could be doing to stay busy, but I feel frozen to even move off the couch to go do them.
You and I seem to be around the same point in time. Try to get some rest, even if it's during odd times during the day.
Don't let my user name fool you...I am NOT hopeful for us at ALL!!
