A few weeks ago, ex-cheater and I had a little email correspondence about our children's dental visit. Poor, downtrodden ex was dismayed to see how much it cost for three cleanings, some x-rays, and three checkups (I pay 50% of that, so it cost me just as much). He felt that I needed to be more savvy and shop around, and he wanted our kids to see his much cheaper dentist the next town over. I told him that it was up to him to make all of the arrangements if that's what he wanted, and he did. Fine. That was that. I hope his dentist doesn't turn out to be a quack, so that remains to be seen.
Anyway, the ex also asked me a while ago if I could keep the kids during his usual weekly overnight this past week because he'd be out of town. I kept the kids, and they just came back from their weekend visitation with him. Guess where he was when he was out of town? BERMUDA (for at least one leg of the trip-- a friend of mine ran into him in Boston and told me!). Gosh, I'm sure that was a cheap trip. Knowing my ex, they stayed in what was probably one of the nicest places there; he never spared any expense when it came to traveling to places that he wanted to visit.
I don't know why I find it so amazing that he's crapping his pants over a dental bill but happily traveling for a week to an exotic location (probably to celebrate their one-year wedding cheaterversary). It pisses me off to know that I am going to have to deal with this every time there's some kid expense he doesn't like, and then I'll hear from the kids about some flashy expense he happily made on himself and his whore (and this isn't the first thing he's done-- there have been a bunch of other things). I'm sure he's champing at the bit at the thought of getting CS lowered if he can at the three-year mark.
I'm all for being responsible and being careful with expenses, but I don't preach about that when I think a "non-fun" bill is too high and then run off and take a luxury vacation. I'm pretty careful about my money in every area of my life; I don't shortchange my children so that I can indulge myself.
Thanks. If anyone understands this garbage, it's all of you. Only 12 years left!
I'm sure he's champing at the bit at the thought of getting CS lowered if he can at the three-year mark.
riiiiiight.... cause kids get cheaper as they get older. And everything costs exactly the same.
((hugs)) You look so much better without him! Oh, and thanks for the new word: cheaterversary. LOVE it!!!
He is also holding college over their heads so if they don't have a relationship with him then no college. All I can say is that girls see it and know where they stand and they get to decide how much of the game they are willing to play...he set the playing field not me or the girls. All I do is remind them that is not a healthy way to have a relationship with anyone and absolutely not ok for a parent/child.
I keep telling myself there has to be a special place in hell for WS that hurt the kids. All I know after many years on SI, hell has got to be a hot real estate market in more ways than one with all these messed up WS's.
So sorry you are dealing with Scrooge but unfortunately there are multiple ones around.
These guys aren't scrooges. They just prefer to spend their money in flashy, ego-kibble getting ways. Dentistry and Education...frivolous details!!
And I would NOT let him be in charge of the dentistry. He won't take them, and if he does, he will feel all other things are not necessary. NO WAY IN HELL would I let him run the show with their health in any way, shape, or form.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
I hope his vacation to sunny Bermuda involved a massive tropical storm, followed by days of sunburns and the squirts for him and CommandOWife.
As if you're taking the kids to the doctor or the dentist unnecessarily just to rack up expenses, of which you pay 50% anyway. Riiiiiiiiight.
Kids cost money, dipshit exWH! That's what they do. They are not profitable. They need stuff all the effing time. Not stuffed animals or lollipops; important shit like health care, education, shelter, heat, food, and clothes. I suppose that is lost on a dude who let's his five year old go to school without underwear because he's too cheap, too lazy and/or too much of a selfish dickhead to buy or wash some.
This response has no decent advice. I just wanted to vent for you and let you know that we all understand what a total waste of a parent and a man he is.
I totally get how you feel. But I just don't understand this jerks. How can ego kibble crap be more important than your kids?