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AlwaysBeenStrong posted 8/4/2014 09:02 AM

So I decided to put a profile up. I think I am ready to meet someone, was in a one way relationship for a long time, it taught me what I want, what I will and won't tolerate. And I am tired of spending my nights off alone.

GOODNESS GRACIOUS...the men that have hit on me. Now I am freaked out. I want to be polite, but just some of the "first words/impressions" are huge warning signs...stay away.

Do you just be blunt and say, yea sorry, thanks but no thanks...help...newbie advice!

norabird posted 8/4/2014 10:04 AM

If you aren't interested in someone from their message, there is no need to reply. If they don't get the hint, you can block them.

Absolutely no reason to worry about the need to be polite and reject someone who has approached you in OLD.

better4me posted 8/4/2014 12:17 PM

Yes, you are free to ignore anyone you want to and they will generally understand that your silence means you aren't interested. If someone I'm uninterested in writes me a longish and nice note, where from his writing it is obvious that he read my profile, I may respond with "Thank you for the message. I don't think we are a match. I wish you the best of luck in your search!"

The number or responses can be overwhelming at first, something about being "fresh meat" (ugh) . Feel free to take a break and deactivate your OLD profile whenever you need a breather.

Red Sox Nation posted 8/4/2014 14:03 PM

I agree with better4me.

You will, especially while your profile is brand new, receive a ton of messages from inappropriate prospects. They email everyone, on the premise that they'll catch someone in the wrong place at the right time.

If someone can't take silence as an implicit no, the blocking feature usually works.

You need a strong stomach for this. It's hard to remember that any contact is essentially a form of flattery, even if the thought of being with that person turns your stomach.

AlwaysBeenStrong posted 8/4/2014 16:40 PM

Thanks everyone. I love the flattery...can we say HUGE self esteem booster. It's just funny how someone can write something like this:

"Really nice to hear from you soon ...well i just joined the site recently and never had an experience of this before...you will be my first contact on here and i wish it to be the last...i find your profile so special that i cant stop staring at it ..i try to find out whats so special about it but i couldn't give a reason"

That really made me want to vomit and question...Do women really fall for crap like this??? LOL

hurtbs posted 8/4/2014 16:43 PM

Always, you will find those canned messages, the overly long novel (one guy sent me two before I blocked him), or the one word "hey."

It's easy to contact people so a lot of them take a shotgun approach.

I would encourage you to reach out to the men that you are attracted to. Women who engage in online dating proactively tend to get better matches, I promise!

AlwaysBeenStrong posted 8/4/2014 17:04 PM

I am a little resistant to reach out, babystepping...LOL

better4me posted 8/4/2014 18:07 PM

Best advice I received from SI when I began my OLD quest: "Don't send a wink (or a flirt or whatever they are called on your site) Winks are for cowards." Be brave, send a short email to someone interesting!

hurtbs posted 8/4/2014 18:45 PM

@Always - I know, I know. but if you find that most of the contacts you are getting are from men who don't interest you then you need to take the bull by the horns.

AlwaysBeenStrong posted 8/4/2014 21:59 PM

Ok...I will definitely try!!

hurtbs posted 8/4/2014 22:44 PM

Good! And we'll be here to cheer you on!

AlwaysBeenStrong posted 8/11/2014 09:33 AM

Well after multiple 26 year olds messaging me or way over the age limit I posted...don't they see that?? I found a guy in Ireland for chatting and now one I actually messaged today. Wish me luck! Lol.

k94ever posted 8/11/2014 10:45 AM

Be careful of the scammers.

k9

AlwaysBeenStrong posted 8/11/2014 13:27 PM

Oh had a few of those try too...lol. Do you think the divorce has made the smell for bullshit easier to detect? Lol

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