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Newest Member: Remember (46025)

User Topic: O.L.D newbie
AlwaysBeenStrong
♀ 39888
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I decided to put a profile up. I think I am ready to meet someone, was in a one way relationship for a long time, it taught me what I want, what I will and won't tolerate. And I am tired of spending my nights off alone.

GOODNESS GRACIOUS...the men that have hit on me. Now I am freaked out. I want to be polite, but just some of the "first words/impressions" are huge warning signs...stay away.

Do you just be blunt and say, yea sorry, thanks but no thanks...help...newbie advice!


BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42

Posts: 125 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you aren't interested in someone from their message, there is no need to reply. If they don't get the hint, you can block them.

Absolutely no reason to worry about the need to be polite and reject someone who has approached you in OLD.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4235 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, you are free to ignore anyone you want to and they will generally understand that your silence means you aren't interested. If someone I'm uninterested in writes me a longish and nice note, where from his writing it is obvious that he read my profile, I may respond with "Thank you for the message. I don't think we are a match. I wish you the best of luck in your search!"

The number or responses can be overwhelming at first, something about being "fresh meat" (ugh) . Feel free to take a break and deactivate your OLD profile whenever you need a breather.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3266 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Red Sox Nation
♂ 26358
Member # 26358
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with better4me.

You will, especially while your profile is brand new, receive a ton of messages from inappropriate prospects. They email everyone, on the premise that they'll catch someone in the wrong place at the right time.

If someone can't take silence as an implicit no, the blocking feature usually works.

You need a strong stomach for this. It's hard to remember that any contact is essentially a form of flattery, even if the thought of being with that person turns your stomach.


When someone tells you who she is, listen; when someone shows you who she is, listen carefully.

Posts: 1921 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Midwest
AlwaysBeenStrong
♀ 39888
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone. I love the flattery...can we say HUGE self esteem booster. It's just funny how someone can write something like this:

"Really nice to hear from you soon ...well i just joined the site recently and never had an experience of this before...you will be my first contact on here and i wish it to be the last...i find your profile so special that i cant stop staring at it ..i try to find out whats so special about it but i couldn't give a reason"

That really made me want to vomit and question...Do women really fall for crap like this??? LOL


BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42

Posts: 125 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Always, you will find those canned messages, the overly long novel (one guy sent me two before I blocked him), or the one word "hey."

It's easy to contact people so a lot of them take a shotgun approach.

I would encourage you to reach out to the men that you are attracted to. Women who engage in online dating proactively tend to get better matches, I promise!


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15340 | Registered: Jun 2006
AlwaysBeenStrong
♀ 39888
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am a little resistant to reach out, babystepping...LOL


BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42

Posts: 125 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Best advice I received from SI when I began my OLD quest: "Don't send a wink (or a flirt or whatever they are called on your site) Winks are for cowards." Be brave, send a short email to someone interesting!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3266 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Always - I know, I know. but if you find that most of the contacts you are getting are from men who don't interest you then you need to take the bull by the horns.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15340 | Registered: Jun 2006
AlwaysBeenStrong
♀ 39888
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok...I will definitely try!!


BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42

Posts: 125 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good! And we'll be here to cheer you on!


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15340 | Registered: Jun 2006
AlwaysBeenStrong
♀ 39888
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well after multiple 26 year olds messaging me or way over the age limit I posted...don't they see that?? I found a guy in Ireland for chatting and now one I actually messaged today. Wish me luck! Lol.


BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42

Posts: 125 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
k94ever
♀ 11176
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be careful of the scammers.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6635 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
AlwaysBeenStrong
♀ 39888
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh had a few of those try too...lol. Do you think the divorce has made the smell for bullshit easier to detect? Lol


BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42

Posts: 125 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
Topic Posts: 14

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