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Benefits to Legal Separation???

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hopefulfourus posted 8/4/2014 11:51 AM

My h was served D papers last week. We have had a few talks since then, the latest this morning.

He would like us to legally separate instead of D. I get that it would benefit him as he has no medical insurance, and I feel bad that would leave him high and dry.

He also wants us to figure things out on our own. Basically, without attorneys, who he says will be creating a lot of debt. He wants us to discuss the basics regarding the house, monthly payments, the kids.

Has anyone ever done this successfully?? I don't know all the ins/outs, but if we could save some money, why not?? If we go this route, can the final things just be submitted to the attorney and then file for D??

There's so much to think about. He is actually being very calm about this. I am just wondering if he is covering the fact that he is nervous about the content of his safe deposit box.

hurtbs posted 8/4/2014 12:00 PM

He would like us to legally separate instead of D. I get that it would benefit him as he has no medical insurance, and I feel bad that would leave him high and dry.

There are a few benefits, specifically having to do with insurance and inheritance. However, with the affordable care act I see no reason why he can't get his own health insurance.

Basically, without attorneys, who he says will be creating a lot of debt. He wants us to discuss the basics regarding the house, monthly payments, the kids.

The two of you can work out a deal, but still consult with an attorney about what you're entitled toa nd your rights are. I would also recommend using an attorney for completing the paperwork. My ex and I did this (in a volatile divorce) and it cost about $2K.

kra127 posted 8/4/2014 13:03 PM

Even if you want to use an attorney only for the legal paperwork, I would highly recommend going in for a consultation so you know what you're entitled to and get your questions answered. I guarantee unless you have a legal background, the attorney will think of things that you may never have considered. If you think he's covering up or hiding some assets, an attorney would be a wise investment.

StrongAndCapable posted 8/4/2014 13:13 PM

I had a thread going in the general section a month or so ago regarding this same topic. The majority of the responders recommended consulting with an attorney so you know what your rights are and what you are legally entitled to. I personally feel that mediation is not an option when there are children involved. It's more for people who are respectfully ending their marriage. The waywards lost their opportunity for a respectful divorce when they decided to have an affair. If you don't agree in mediation then you have to get an attorney anyway, and then you've spent money on mediation and the attorney. Why not invest the money in great legal representation to secure the well being of your and your children's future?

brokenblackbird posted 8/4/2014 13:21 PM

He has his own business and you say he is secretive. For this reason and a thousand more (he is a lying cheater) you need a lawyer. You've already seen one and had papers drawn up (a few years ago) correct?

You wouldn't be leaving him "high and dry" without health insurance. There is the A.C.A. He can get insurance for himself. The most likely scenario is that he doesn't want to pay child support, or his share of child support and child expenses (they seldom ever want to). Somehow they think we'll all just believe them now, after all the lies they told, that the legal system isn't right for our particular situation. IT IS! Use it.

You can still mediate. You can still do a legal separation. You can still work things out between you. But always have a lawyer on your side. You'll be amazed how quickly his nice guy act changes when real numbers get plugged in.

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