I could have written what you said. Except I am 2 years 8 months out. I should get divorce papers to sign and send to court tomorrow. Just days before what would be my anniversary. Honestly I don't think the mediation helped with closure. I do truly believe that once my divorce is final, I will start to heal. The stress of dealing with the issue of infidelity, divorce, kids and finances is hard. Once the divorce is final, one thing off the healing plate.
Don't feel pathetic hurting over him. We were the loyal ones, not straying. He didn't warn you to stop loving him. Your vows said forever. You can't just change that because of this. Doesn't mean you want him back.
I am right in line with you hoping for my STBXH to suffer. And I think of it often. BUT they say it a lot here, and I am working on it. "Don't give him headspace, think only about you and your loved ones."
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen