do they ever think back of what they have done and feel remorse?
Yes, I think back often about what I did. During the EA I NEVER thought about how it would affect anyone else. I don't think back on how it affected the OW just because of how things played out afterwards with her and my AP, but I do think about how it affected my BH and how it continues to affect him. I have forgiven myself and accepted what I did and of course have definitely learned from it!!
Do they ever feel bad about themselves and regret having taken the wrong path?
I don't feel bad about myself but that's only because I feel like I have learned from it and it has made me strong. It has been 5 years since my Dday so my attitude has changed over the years. I blamed my BH at the time for my mistake. Told him that if he wasn't verbally/emotionally abusive then I wouldn't have got caught up with someone else. I now know that I needed to be stronger and more vocal about my issues I had with my marriage. But like I said, I have learned from my mistake so I don't totally regret it (I only regret hurting my BH) and definitely don't blame him anymore.
do they think it was ok for as long as the A made them feel good about themselves for whatever reason?
No, I don't think my EA was EVER ok. I should not have sought another man's attention to make myself feel better.
I would really like to know how they truly feel about the A; not what they want the BS to think they feel.
I sometimes wonder if I'd feel differently if my AP weren't a sex addict and had me as one of his goals. After my Dday I learned that he was having a PA with a coworker who was also my (work) best friend for about 2 years. After things settled down, I noticed that he would take his wife and his other AP out to lunch. I'm guessing it turned into a 3-some for them. It just all turned out so weird in the end that I only am ashamed at myself for getting wrapped up in his scheme. Thank GOD he didn't concur his goal and get me in bed (yuck!)
[This message edited by PrtyInPink at 4:18 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)]