Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: SnowyOwl

General :
Is it too late to inform OW's betrayed boyfriend?

This Topic is Archived
mad2

 Loadsofchocolate (original poster member #40708) posted at 10:09 PM on Tuesday, August 5th, 2014

It's been just over a year since dday1 and 8 months since dday5 ( when NC letter was sent). I know now that on dday 1 I hardly knew anything about the full extent of the affair which is why I didn't contact the BBF (betrayed boyfriend). The affair went underground several times and I was on the receiving end of lots of TT and multiple broken NC. On dday5 I discovered everything (I hope) and WH sent a proper NC letter. After the NC letter was sent I thought it was too late to contact the BBF and hoped the OW would just get the message and leave us alone.

OW has harassed me and stalked me online for over a year. It doesn't happen so much now as I deleted my accounts, including my FB account which she hacked for a second time a few months ago. Every time the affair went underground it was by watching what she did in a few hidden places online that led me to discover NC had been broken. I still regularly check on her to confirm that NC is being maintained. The public profiles, as expected, have multiple taunts to try and get a reaction from me (I have never replied to any of her messages or had any form of contact with her), in the hidden places she is clearly still totally obsessed with WH and recently posted that "she is never going to give up until he divorces the slut" (in the context of - never going to give up harassing me.)

Due to my employment I need to make a visible online profile and I am certain that is going to open up a whole load of abuse from her. If this happens again (as I expect it will) would it be too late to contact the BFF and let him know about the affair last year and that his girlfriend is still obsessed with a married man or would it be best to just try and ignore? I really don't know what the best way forward is and any advice would be very much appreciated

Dday1 - 2013 admits EA
Dday2 - Dday5 (end 2013) breaks NC 4 times admits PA
Dday6 - November 2014 breaks NC
Dday7 - 2014 EA with COW
Dday8 - 4/2016 discover 2yr EA from 2009-2011
Dday9 - 8/2016 discover cheating from 18 years ago

posts: 73   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2013
id 6898817
default

ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 10:28 PM on Tuesday, August 5th, 2014

It's never too late. PLEASE, TELL HIM.

And sometimes it seems that when OW are continually obsessed, it's not because they are delusional, it's because they are still in contact with the wayward.

If she's not letting him go, maybe he's not given her a reason to.

There are millions of ways they could go underground. My ex fucker used the chat feature on a fucking scrabble game on his phone to go underground. Waywards can be some sneaky fuckers.

I would tell the boyfriend ASAP. I think it gives your relationship a better chance as well..

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6898846
default

homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 3:11 AM on Wednesday, August 6th, 2014

I think you should take what ever evidence of the affair and take it right to him, personally!

Do not warn your WS, do not warn OW.

Do not send it thru fb, email, etc because most BS are trusting people and they have the link right on their phone to their email and f/b.....

But yes, please tell him today. Wouldnt' you want to know?

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 6899163
default

BtraydWife ( member #42581) posted at 3:53 AM on Wednesday, August 6th, 2014

Never too late.

Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010

posts: 5437   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 6899202
default

cantgetup ( member #36146) posted at 4:13 AM on Wednesday, August 6th, 2014

Wow. First and foremost a personal visit to the BBF. Like yesterday. But more importantly, where is your WS in all of this? He needs to step up and make this stop, and shouldn't rest until it's permanently resolved.

posts: 319   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2012
id 6899223
default

 Loadsofchocolate (original poster member #40708) posted at 10:20 AM on Friday, August 8th, 2014

Thank you all for your replies. I only have a cell phone number for the BBF so I'll have to plan what I want to say and call him. I guess I have to just keep it brief and factual?

Dday1 - 2013 admits EA
Dday2 - Dday5 (end 2013) breaks NC 4 times admits PA
Dday6 - November 2014 breaks NC
Dday7 - 2014 EA with COW
Dday8 - 4/2016 discover 2yr EA from 2009-2011
Dday9 - 8/2016 discover cheating from 18 years ago

posts: 73   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2013
id 6902201
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy